Winter in Hespeler

Looks like a winter wonderland, pure and innocent.

Party at the new Hespeler Hot Spot

One of the reasons i have not been posting lately. The Duke and Duchess is open!!

When i was a teen

When i was a teenager growing up in this town words had a slightly different meaning:

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a television show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spiders home
A virus was what you caught
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long drive with my family
A mouse pad was where the mice lived

And if you had a 3 inch floppy, you just hoped nobody ever found out!

My how times have changed!

Hespeler Hootanny

I remember as a kid in the 60's when Saturday night meant my Dad and my relatives and friends would gather at the house and enjoy themselves. Those nights are long gone, now we go down to the Barking Fish and watch karaoke! UGHH. In this picture is my Dad and my Uncle Patrick McLaughlin.

Hespeler hot tubs

Now that is the way to spend a winters night in Hespeler

Farfrompoopin and Nuns farts

I always wanted to be somebody, but maybe i should of been more specific
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for re-incarnation, the other eight don't matter"--Henry Miller
Last night i dreamed i had insomnia

"The problem with the world is that everyone is always a few drinks behind me"--Humphrey Bogart
Murphy was a freaking optimist
My wife and i like to have hallway sex-we pass each other in the hall and tell each other to fuck off

How come you can kill a deer and put it's head on a wall but you are not allowed to keep one as a pet?
If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?
Why is Charlie short for Charles when they both have the same amount of letters?

In France a cinnamon roll is sometimes called a Nuns Fart
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a front for the urge to rule"--H.L. Mencken
I may not be able to buy happiness but i still want the money

Farfrompoopin--Another word for constipation
Fact: No man has ever been shot and killed by his wife while doing the dishes.
You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you will have is a wet critically injured baby.

Everyone has to have a goal in life, mine is to ruin as many peoples dreams as possible
Sex is like being in the army,the closer to discharge you get the better you feel
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves"--Confucians

And in parting remember the words of my Father; Never trust the dog to watch your food

If looks could kill

Good old fashioned Hespeler stare!

Between Woodstock and Reagan[The great Hespeler Moped Crash of 1973]

The other day one of my student employees came into work all bruised and battered, so naturally I asked him what happened and as he explained that he wiped out on his mountain bike while riding home from work, my mind flashed back to an incident that happened to me.
It was in July 1973 when the great explore Moped crash occurred. I was 15 going on 16 and as such did not have a drivers license so my parents gave me the next best thing, they bought me a Moped for my up coming birthday. Not that they really had a choice as 5 of my friends already had one or were getting one for the summer ahead, so on a late June day they presented me with my Fire engine red Moped. That was the beginning of the summer of driving, I went everywhere on it, to kitchener, Guelph and points in between. Hell even some of the girls loved them and that made me even more popular[not a bad side effect to that]. But as in anything that teenagers set their mind to we got more adventurous on the bikes and soon were able to do wheelies like the big boy's, we even nicknamed ourselves "Hespelers Rejects", not a good name I admit but hey! We were teenagers. So all of June and July we terroised the streets of Hespeler and even the local constabulary'flashlight Freddie" could not stop us,of course i don't think he really tried that hard. And so July 26th came in to play.
It was one of those warm summer rain kind of day's, not hard enough or long enough to stop your fun but still damp enough for the average person to be careful while out on the road. And there was the problem, thought did not enter the equation. So off the 6 of us went that day driving down the hills and valleys of Hespeler without a care in the world and then Edward Street appeared on the Horizon and the challenge was made. I don't know who made the call but it was there, drive as fast as we van down Edward toward the valley and may the best man win. Everything was going good, I sat in a close third when suddenly just before the bottom of the hill someone went down and the rest of us followed, by the time we finished tumbling and sliding there were 6 mopeds and 6 bodies lying on Edward street, scuffed, bruised and bloody but we all managed to pull ourselves together get our mopeds off the street and survey the damage. There were no broken bones or damaged mopeds, somehow we all survived that crash. As we sat at the side of the road we all just suddenly started laughing and realized what a funny sight we must of made, six bodies and 6 bikes rolling and sliding down Edward. Needless to say that was the end of the day for all of us as we slinked off to lick our wounds and get ready to ride another day.
As for the rest of the summer , well let's just say we rode a little more carefully...Ah who am I kidding we did not learn our lesson and continued to drive as stupidly as ever. As for the Mopeds, well they lasted one more year as many of us got our drivers license and moved on to bigger and better things, but probably still did not drive any safer....And that my friends is the story of the Great Hespeler Moped crash of 1973...Drive safely everyone..

From the files

Some old Hespeler girls. From the war years. My Mom and her Sisters with her parents.

Fireman vs Police

This is from around 1969[ I'm not sure of the date, but it is in that area] it was a benefit hockey game pitting the Hespeler Fireman against the Hespeler Police. The fireman won 5-3 and i remember having a great time at it. In the picture is Jack Stark,Jack Westbrook and Jim Hillis[my dad]. During the game Police chief Fred Stewart was assessed a number of penalties including 2 minuets for speeding and 2 min for leaving the scene of an accident after two members of the fireman collided and fell down. My Dad had to use a goalie stick that was 3 times bigger than a normal one to hide what chief Stewart called the sure target caused by my Dad's awkward goalie stance,some called it bowlegged. The police were forced to use wooden pucks on penalty shots to make handling easier. I have no idea how much money was raised but everyone had a good time.

Ethics, Vegetarians and Uranus

Ethics are annoying, i avoid them on principle
Who are our enemies, who are our friends? This is a question of the first importance for the revolution----Chairman Mao
My ship came in, but it hit an iceberg and sank

The only things in life that are unavoidable are death and taxes, oh and the occasional pedestrian
I love vegetarians, leaves more beef for me
Join the Army, meet interesting people then kill them

Good news: Your son has a girlfriend
Bad News: He is having sex with the married woman next door
Worst news: So are you

Laughing Stock:Cattle with a sense of humour
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
I hate waking up grumpy, so i usually let her sleep late

If love is the answer could you rephrase the question
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes, there is too much fraternizing with the enemy"--Henry Kissinger

In Chicago it was once illegal to leave your Elephant outside at night.
"I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than i do"---Selma Hayek
Uranus is the only planet that rotates on it's side

Edwards/Obama/Clinton. The middle aged mod squad
Baldage: The accumulation of hair in the drain after a shower
There are over 15'000 miles of neon tubing in Las Vegas


And in parting
What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A=BINGO

Now and Then

Me in 2007 and from 1982, where the hell did all the hair go?

Hespeler Arena

I remember the cold Saturday mornings getting up at 6am so we could be on the ice for 7. and as we pretended to be our favorite Maple Leaf or Canadian our fathers would be sitting in the stands drinking their coffee spiced with whatever they had. No screaming at the coaches to put my kid in, no yelling at the refs[hell the refs were out drinking at the legion with our dads the night before] no pressure but to have a good time. Somehow memories of those days still cheer me up! And no matter how hard they try the new arena in town just doesn't have the same feel and attitude. No ghosts of Hespeler Shamrocks or Hespeler Mic macs wandering the halls. No smell of french frys will ever beat the old arenas. Call it what you will, i call it unforgettable.

In Memory of my Dad

June 25 1924-August18 1997

Dad, i look over to your chair
I look at the emptiness it brings because you're not there

Summer comes along with my birthday
Dad, and you're not there
with you're wide grin, the stupid hats that you would wear
My life comes full circle but Dad you're not there
Whether i fail or succeed Dad you re not there

As i grew you stood patiently behind me
allowing me to stretch my wings
test the waters
and allow me to make my own name

Thank you for loving me as you did
for my sisters and my Brother
For loving my Mother all those years

Thank you for being my Father
A Father whom i appreciate
A Father i still rely on
A Father though gone i still talk to
A Father who still listens
no matter how old i am

I was proud to have called you my Dad
And now 10 years on, i still love you
and your memory takes me back in time
I see the great lengths you went to and i realise now
although I'm grown
i still want you by my side.

Valley Store to Barking Fish

I remember when this was what is now the Barking Fish. This was before Zehrs and all the big chains came in and ruined the grocery shopping experience. Family run and personable workers. Progress!Bah Humbug!

Too Few free and easy Sunday Afternoons

What is it about Monday's? There have been many songs written about it, and most of them have not a good thing to say.
Rainy Day's and Monday's--The Carpenters
I don't like Monday's--The Boomtown Rats
Blue Monday---Fat's Domino
Call it Stormy Monday--Nancy Wilson These are just some songs and not one has a good thing to say about Monday. Now i know it is the first day of the week for many, and that in itself is a drag but at the same time i find it refreshing a day as there is. For Teenagers it is time to return to the books after a weekend with their friends, and for adults back to work after trying to accomplish work around their homes and visiting family and friends.
And Monday's have always had an interesting aura around them. They have been called Black Monday-Blue Monday-Wet Monday-Miracle Monday-Bloody Monday among others. And of course we have Easter Monday[or for some the First Monday]. Monday is the day to get the workweek on track and create a whole slew of new" to-do lists". There is even a medical ailment called "Mondayitis" an illness associated with Depression, involving going back to work.
The expression"Monday's child is fair of face" is actually inspiring,not a comedown. And since the first Monday there have been over 100,000 Mondays and yet the world still goes on. Some major events have happened on a Monday, yes, and here are some of them--Salvador Dali died on a Monday--Terry Kath of the Jazz/Rockband Chicago was shot to death on a Monday-Brenda Spenser inspired the Boomtown Rats to write "I don't like Mondays" by killing 2 people in her school on a Monday Morning-a protest in London England in 1886 on aMonday led to a riot and many unknown deaths--Wall street crashed on a Monday in 1929. Those are just some of the events that happened on a Monday. A survey in Colorado in 2002,found over a period of 6 weeks that more accidents happenned on the Roadways on a Monday than any other day. In Las Vegas a study done by the University of Las Vegas found that more police reports of Domestic Disturbances happened on Monday's.
Now are Monday's all bad? Of course not. In my case Monday's are usually the best day of the week. It is a day off for me and it allows me to hit the Malls and go shop, and the trafficc is always lighter going as fewer people are out and about during the day. So Monday's are my Sunday's and i appreciate them even if most people hate them. So Monday's are here to stay and nothing we do will change that, so i suggest that everyone learn to love Monday's, Hell there is even a band out of England called 'The Happy Monday's". I wonder if they get yelled at?
So i am off, it is Monday and i am going to enjoy it.
do not forget to check out my message board http://captainhespeler.proboards52.com/index.cgi Meet Me on the Corner

Until next time Keep a cold one in the Fridge you never know when i will show up.

Wedding Crashers Part 2?

This is a picture taken Saturday night at my daughters wedding. Look in the upper left hand corner, could this be a spirit of an old Hespelerite crashing the wedding? Thought i felt my dad around!!!!

My favourite live Earth songs

Like a lot of people i managed to catch a few of the songs performed on this past weekends concert festival and here is my list of the best songs.

The Heat goes on
Helter Swealter
Sympathy FROM the Devil
She blinded me with Liberal-biased Pseudo Science
Gore's so vain
Burn(ed) in the USA
Everybody wants to cool the world
goodbye Yellow specked Toad
Help me{i think I'm scalding}

and my number 1--Papas got a brand new handmade reasonable hemp based tote bag.

Happy Canada Day

Enjoy

Underpants and Galoshes

Now that i have your attention: The title of this piece refers to word that tickle my funnybone. Everyone has those words, little things that make you laugh. So without delay here is a list of some words that do it for me.

Bagpipes-Kumguat-dribble-wonky-velcrow-bonk-flop-quagmire-crevasse-trousers-punkydoodle-Bush[oh sorry, he just makes me laugh]-homo erectus-belfry-shenanigans-haberdashy-titmouse-smurf-hullabaloo-bamboozle-crumpets-wiffleball-dildo-crevice-glockenspiel-kalamazoo-cucamonga-guacamole-spleen-conservative[refer to bush]-swifter-walla walla-schnitzel-

well that is just a few, i will think of more later.

Oh and underpants and Galoshes.

Enjoying summer

My Dad, Mom and my two daughters 20 years ago. In our minds we are always looking back and remembering the good times and the events that occurred. I can't remember where this was taken but i believe on lake Nippising outside of North Bay. And time certainly does fly as this summer the little girl sandwiched between Mom and Dad will be getting married. But more on that later! So enjoy the summer and the memories it creates.

Queen Street Circa 1900

Nice and peaceful looking ain't it!

Religious names for Breasts!

The Lords pair
Heavenly canteens
Pearly weights
Pastor Baiters
Beelzeboobs
Pamela 36:D
First and second Mammalonians
The daughters of Levtiticus
Mounds of shame
Racks of Lamb of God.

There they are, now hopefully a bolt of lightening doesn't hit me!

The people on the street

Waterloo is definitely not Hespeler. While working up there for the last week, near the University's i noticed a lot of different things and people, a mixed crowd that is for sure.

following is what i noticed.

Overweight people that wear tight fitting clothes, people that walk with a constant grin or a constant frown, people talking to themselves, lovers joined at the hip, Chinese,Iraqis,Jamaicans and many other cultures hanging together with no problems, people yapping on cell phones, speed walkers, people just taking there time,post beat hippies, people overdressed for the weather and people under dressed for the weather, official looking people, sloppy looking people, straight couples and gay couples, people lost in thought, people eating while walking, people with long hair, people with short hair and people with no hair, people on bikes,scooters, skateboards, Rollerblades,walking dogs and even one walking a cat, people wearing hats, bandannas even a sombrero, people with backpacks, briefcases and grocery bags, people reading while walking, listening to their i-pods and probably the coolest guy was the one rollerblading while playing his guitar, now that was worth the day.
So go out and see what the world presents to you.

Images of Hespeler 2

A meeting of the Legion circa 1972? I am not sure of the date!

1976[From the archives]

What sets off a memory,i have no idea but today one occurred. I received a C.D. from a friend in Texas and when i played it a whole slew of memory's came flashing back to me. They are not life altering memories and who knows maybe not all of them are real. But for some reason they are there and i feel the need to tell them so bear with me while i go back to 1976.
An early fall evening and i am cruising down the back roads of my town just turned 19,3 freinds and myself a case of Molson Diamond and some cinci bud,the 1969 Dodge
coronet running smoothly and some Kiss[destroyer] playing on the cassette deck. Fighting over which movie we are going to see,i want Taxi Driver, Tony wants All the Presidents Men,big Bill wants to go see the Omen and Gary says the Bad news bears cause that is where most of the girls will be so we argue a little more and decide to just get some more beer and keep driving. Gas at 29 cents a gallon seems good so we keep going. We continue to argue over who has the best new album out right now,Aerosmith rocks,AC/DC high voltage,Blue Oyster Cult Agents of Fortune or the debut album of some band called Boston,we reach no decision and decide to listen to them all. More beer and a little more bud and next thing we know the debate is who would win a drinking contest our Prime minister Pierre Trudeau or the American President Gerald Ford we decide it would be Trudeau because we would be using Canadian beer. The conversation continues as we discuss this new show called Charlies Angels and just who is the hottest of them all no contest as we all agree Farrah Fawcett is the most duable. The topic then becomes the just completed Montreal Olympics and how poor Canada did,we discuss the Son of Sam killings in New York city,the Hoopla in the U.S. over the Bi-centennial,this new band we have heard about called the Ramones,as yet we have not heard them but they sound interesting,we discuss our girls,drink more beer and then remember that it is almost 11:00 and we have to get to one of our homes to watch Saturday Night Live. After that things get a little hazy but thats o.k. this memory is a good one and i will treasure it. And while the 4 of us don't get together that often anymore we all still remember the nights we want to. So to my Friend in Grand Praire Texas thank you for the Nitzinger C.Ds and for the memorys they brought back.

Another letter from WW2

My brother gave me a copy of a letter he had in his possession from another of our Uncles from Hespeler who served in the 2nd World War. Following is the letters contents.

August 17 1941

The Editor:

I received a copy of D.W. and W bugle last night when i came on duty and was really pleased to read all the local news. I'm writing this on duty so if it seems rather disjointed it is because i had to get up to quiet a wild bunch of Irishman we have here one with a fractured skull and when i say wild Irishman i mean exactly that.
The first thing that caught my eye were the pictures. They really looked interesting but you know i worked at all those jobs and somehow or other they never looked the same to me. Still I would not mind taking a whirl at it again. Maybe i will after this issue is over.
How is Red Wilfong, is he still in the dye house and Bill Clark,Shorty Reid and all the old gang. Is Jimmy Tordoff still on the tubs or has he decided to quit wahing Khaki and start wearing it. By the look of the paper the mill must be getting a preety good going over. Is Red Watson and his trusty .38 still guarding the back of the dyehouse. Oh yes one more thing i probably should know myself. Who is the patriotic society i have received two parcels from them and did not know whom i should send a letter of thanks. whoever they are must be getting the idea that i'm not grateful.
Next time you go through the dyehouse will you remind Jim Cutting that he still owes me that letter he promised a year ago. Since coming over here i have run across most of the boys in the 1st division. Just out of curiosity who is June Whorly, I have never heard of her myself but she seems to be creating a sensation among the boys of this unit.
I've been here eight months now and i think we have had rain 5 or 6 days a wek every week. It never rains in Scotland I've been there twice and it rained both times. Next time i'm going to Ireland.Most letters that i have read that fellows have written to the reporter have been very elaborate in describing the beauty of the country,the hospitality of the people. I will admit that the people as a whole are hospitable.Only it is pretty hard to convince some of them that the people of Canada don't ride down main trails waving tomahawks.
Due to scarcity of films and the fact that the sun never shines people over here don't take many pictures. but this one was taken in the surgical ward. Never mind i cant find it,here is another one instead. tell John From if he is still in the dyehouse that he might as well stay where he is, they have no schnapps here and the beer is terrible.
Well i guess that's just about winds up the news, although it seems that i all i have done is ask questions, so I'll say, as they say in Scotland

Cheerie--Bye
Ken Mclaughlin
Canadian Army Overseas.


Uncle Ken lived a full life and passed away on February 12th 2007.

Images of Hespeler

Looking down Guelph Avenue towards Fisher Mill. Circa 1900

Phonebooth scribble

Common Sense is the most uncommon thing in the world
In the tradition of my ancestors i have decided to honor them by remaining a slacker
A Ukrainian woman was arrested after custom officials caught her smuggling cocaine inside a vibrator.

In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose
Good Thing:Finding Easter eggs on Easter morning
Bad Thing:Finding Easter Eggs on Christmas Morning

At the Gas Station of love i got the self-service pump
I stopped going to my masseuse, she just rubbed me the wrong way
What would happen if you found a four leaf clover under a ladder?

Success always occurs in private, failures in public
Famous last words: Yoko, why don't you try to sing one
My wife has started calling my computer my square headed spouse

Another oxymoron=safety hazard
Playing harp duets with Hoffa=euphemism for dying
An interesting book title=Prepare to meet your maker by Eva Destruction

Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Every day is a good day, some are just better than others

And what ever happened to Goldfish swallowing and phone booth stuffing?

From a Leaf fan to non leaf fans

Oh well there is always next year!

Rife Street Rumbles

I went to buy a camouflage shirt but i couldn't find any
Math and Alcohol don't mix, so don't drink and derive
Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?

I'm not old enough to understand woman, but according to my Dad nobody has ever lived long enough to find out.
Polynesia; Memory loss in parrots
I suffer from chronic apathy, i was going to see a doctor about it, but i really didn't care.

Beer: The reason i wake up every afternoon.
The human stomach must make a new layer of mucas every two weeks or it will digest itself.
Tequila in a birdbath? Tequila mockingbird!

I told my psychiatrist that he was just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again.
I don't say this often but...grrrr

My goal in life has become clear...the broccoli must die
Her lips were saying no but her eyes were saying, READ MY LIPS.
Shooting bunnies ,a euphemism for farting.

I am turning 50 and that is important. I can sleep with someone 1/2 my age and not go to jail.
If everything is going well you probably overlooked something.
A Charles T. Sprinkle was arrested for public urination..not that is irony.

That is all for now, will see you all later!

Fun Way's to live Longer

My doctor has given me a list of ways to improve my life and help me live longer, so i will share them with you.

Drink Red Wine
Eat Dark Chocolate
Smile always
Have more sex
Relax more
Simple exercises
Sleep 8 hours a day
Spend more time with loved ones
Do more jigsaw puzzles and mind games
Always be positive.

Now some of those are easy, i mean who could say no to more Red Wine and Dark Chocolate. If i had more sex i would probably smile more often. and it would make me a little more relaxed and allow me to sleep a good 8 hours. But the jigsaw puzzles and mind games? May not be able to stay positive doing those.

You don't know Jack!

One of the most used terms in the English language is the word Jack. It is used in many forms and ways and here are some of them!

Billy Jack
Cracker Jack
Farmer Jack
Jack Daniels
Jack Sprat
Jack Frost
Union Jack
Whisky Jack
Apple Jack
Black Jack
One-eyed Jacks
Jack off
hi-jack
lumber jack
Jackpot
Jack Rabbit
Jack Straw
Jack-in-the box
Jack-o-lantern
Jackass
flapjacks
jack knife
jack boots
skyjack
phone jack
jackhammer
Jack the Bear
Jack and Jill
Jack of all trades.

Well, there are some of them.

Epistle to Dippy

If i were two faced would i be wearing this one--Abe Lincoln
I have found the perfect bedtime story's to put my grandchildren to sleep, recycled "according to Jim" Television show scripts.
Iguanas,Koalas and Komodo Dragons all have 3 penis's.

I need tacos or i will explode.I do that sometimes.
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.
Good looking people turn me off, myself included---Patrik Swaze

God never gives us more than we can handle,luckily a local restaurant has a big boy all you can eat buffet.
Al Capones business card stated that he was a used furniture dealer.
The only difference between Republicans and Democrats is that the Democrats allow poor people to be corrupt as well.

Actually you can beat City Hall. All you need is a bulldozer and a wrecking ball.
If you are feeling good don't worry, you will get over it.
Reality is a nice place to visit but i really would not want to live there.

If you can't beat 'em arrange to have them beating.
Slurm=The slime that exists under the soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
A friend is someone who has the same enemy's as you.

And in closing remember
Woman are trouble and we Men are trouble seekers.

The Best Chickan Salad Recipe Ever

No not really! but since you are here, some more crap that is spilling out of my brain.

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
Did you ever wonder what was the best thing before sliced bread?
"A proof is a proof,what kind of proof?It's a proof!And when you have a good proof it is because it is a proof"---Jean Chretien

Don't worry about what people say about you out loud, worry about what people whisper about you!
There are worst things in life than death, have you ever spent an hour with an Insurance salesman.
I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days gang up on me at once.

Get your facts first and then you can distort them as much as you please-Mark Twain
Cross Country skiing is great..if you live in a small country
As i was driving by the local psychics house i wondered if she knew that it was me giving her the finger.

Governments do not solve problems, it subsidises them--Ronald Reagan
From what i have been told pigs are extremely intelligent, I'll believe that when they tell us to stop eating them.
The nice thing about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being proven right or being pleasantly surprised.

The average dog sled team can kill and devour a grown man in less than 5 minutes.
The trouble with this country is that there are too many people saying"The trouble with this country is"
My how time flys when you are mortified.............Have a nice day everyone!

Who would of thunk it

For those of us who remember watching the "Ultimate Hockey Series" in 1972, this picture of Ken Dryden and Tretiak must be a sweet and sour type of moment.

More Ramblings from Queen Street

Face it America, It's Obama or the ice Queen...good luck.

Bozone Layer:The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

I feel sorry for people that don't drink. When they wake up in the morning that is the best they are going to feel all day.

850 peanuts are needed to make one 18 oz jar of peanut butter.

I don't know why some people don't believe in sex before marriage. Hell it is a lot more believable than sex after marriage.

I bet those gangster rappers aren't that tough at all. Hell my 90 year old uncle can swear just as good as them and he wears pants that are 3 sizes too big as well.

I finally figured out why waiters give you their first names. it is in case you have to file a missing persons report after a couple of hours.

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

Support bacteria: It's the only culture some people have

War does not determine who is right,it determines who is LEFT

Crazy is a relative term in my family.

Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you.

I fought the lawn and the lawn won.

A day without sunshine is like,you know, night.

I wonder who was the first person who looked at a chicken and thought"I am going to eat the first thing that comes out of it's ass".

Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy.

And remember BUCKLE UP. It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.

For the Love of the game

The 1951-52 Elmira Polar Kings. They won the Ontario Intermediate"B" championship in a 9 game series against Bracebridge that year. These guys all had to work for a living and played hockey for the love of the game. My father is the goaltender on the right of the picture facing us. He lived in Hespeler, but drove to Elmira to play his passion.

How Come?

The holidays are over and it is time to back to real life, but first, over the Christmas season my Grand-Children asked me some really weird questions. So here are a few of them that i can remember.

Why is the cashew the only nut you can not buy in the shell?
How come our fingers are different sizes and shapes?
Why does the moon seem to follow us when you drive?
Why does ice cream give you brain freeze?
Why does ice cream melt?
Why do songs get stuck in your head?
How come birds can sit on electrical wires?
Where do bugs go in the winter?
Why are bubbles round?
How come the sky is blue?
Why do leaves change color in the fall?

and finally...why is smoke coming out of your ears grandpa?