Common Sense is the most uncommon thing in the world
In the tradition of my ancestors i have decided to honor them by remaining a slacker
A Ukrainian woman was arrested after custom officials caught her smuggling cocaine inside a vibrator.
In ancient Rome, it was considered a sign of leadership to be born with a crooked nose
Good Thing:Finding Easter eggs on Easter morning
Bad Thing:Finding Easter Eggs on Christmas Morning
At the Gas Station of love i got the self-service pump
I stopped going to my masseuse, she just rubbed me the wrong way
What would happen if you found a four leaf clover under a ladder?
Success always occurs in private, failures in public
Famous last words: Yoko, why don't you try to sing one
My wife has started calling my computer my square headed spouse
Another oxymoron=safety hazard
Playing harp duets with Hoffa=euphemism for dying
An interesting book title=Prepare to meet your maker by Eva Destruction
Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Every day is a good day, some are just better than others
And what ever happened to Goldfish swallowing and phone booth stuffing?
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