What i learned from my Dad

Our Mothers teach us things but we learn valuable life lessons from our Fathers. My dad was no exception, as i learned some things from him that my Mother could never have taught me.
Don't watch the Clock at work, the end of the day will come soon enough. I learned from him that fish can see you if you lean over the boat and that they can hear you if you talk too loud. I learned that which does not kill you will hurt you like the dickens. Oh yeah, i learned the word dickens from him as well. I learned that objects in the mirror are really closer than they appear and not to test the theory while he was in the car. Time travel was learned from him" If you don't smarten up i will knock you into next week". I learned to travel the back roads as often as possible and also where the good spots were to have a pee break. I also learned to question authority[unless it was him]. I learned that i wasn't born in a barn and that he had to walk 5 miles to school.uphill, both ways. I learned that "because i said so" makes sense to adults and that i would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. I learned that Tabasco sauce and Limburger cheese won't kill you. I learned that i am lucky to have Parents and an extended family that really care.
Oh and i also learned one important thing.....FLATULANCE, and how to use it.