Alright so it is already here, but now the weather is getting better and it feels like spring. Anyway here are some more mindless sputtering s from Cooper street.
Sometimes i wonder, does Angela Jolie wonder what i am wearing?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry!
People say i am psycho like it's a bad thing!
A lot has been said of politicians, some of it complimentary but most of it accurate.
What's it mean being a man:Making mistakes and not caring!
If at first you don't succeed have a scapegoat handy!
I may have never left my heart in San Fransisco, but i did leave some toe nail clippings at the Toronto bus depot.
"I am not an egomaniac, but i am the worlds best dancer"---Micheal Flatly
2 out of 3 North Americans men will develop hemorrhoids.
TEIAM, there problem solved!
9 out of 10 guy's prefer woman with big breasts, the 10th guy prefers the other 9 men
I wonder if General Custer wore shirts by the Arrow Company?
I can't remember the last time i did any serious running, but i have been jogging my memory.
Without evil, there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes
There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.
Enjoy the weather and i will talk to ya later!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
A lovely Day for a Parade
This is a picture from around 1967, it is from the Hespeler textile Festival Parade that year. That is my younger Sister and myself on the Fire department float. My Father was on the department at the time. Those were good day's in the Village.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Questions of a Thousand Years
Just some questions that are out there.
If someone owns a piece of land do they own it to the center of the Earth?
If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
If humans evolved from monkeys why are they still here?
Do penguins have knees?
Why do we say the alarm clock went off when it really comes on?
Why do we put our two cents in when it is only a penny for our thoughts?
Why do people return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new has materialised?
Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs?Rabbits don't lay eggs!
Why when people ask what are the 3 things you would bring with you on a desert island, nobody says a Boat?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
And Finally!
Have you ever met a gruntled employee?
If someone owns a piece of land do they own it to the center of the Earth?
If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
If humans evolved from monkeys why are they still here?
Do penguins have knees?
Why do we say the alarm clock went off when it really comes on?
Why do we put our two cents in when it is only a penny for our thoughts?
Why do people return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new has materialised?
Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs?Rabbits don't lay eggs!
Why when people ask what are the 3 things you would bring with you on a desert island, nobody says a Boat?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
And Finally!
Have you ever met a gruntled employee?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
My goldfish hates Me!
If anyone disagrees with anything i say, i am prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny it under oath.
The dot above the i in the letter i is called a tittle
If i had a nickel for every paycheck I've blown on booze and wild woman, i could probably spend a whole weekend doing nothing but...well, you know where this is headed.
Bugs outnumber humans 200 million to one
Canada borders on three oceans, Pacific,Atlantic and Arctic
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it....Frank Zappa
Whenever i feel blue, i just start breathing again
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
If we are not supposed to eat animals how come they are made out of meat.
Why must all good things end while mediocre things last forever
I am so happy today,i found my friends, they are in my head...Kurt Cobain
The word Gullible is not in the English dictionary
In a family of psychotics, it is a relief to be the insomniac
The all time most nominated Grammy artist is Quincy Jones with 77
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
What doesn't kill me doesn't make me stronger, it just pisses me off more.
While staring at my goldfish and making fun of him stuck in a little bowl, i imagined him making fun of me in this weird world, so i flushed him down the toilet, that will teach him.
The Oreo is the worlds best selling cookie.
And in closing, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, of course sometimes it is attached to a Freight train.
The dot above the i in the letter i is called a tittle
If i had a nickel for every paycheck I've blown on booze and wild woman, i could probably spend a whole weekend doing nothing but...well, you know where this is headed.
Bugs outnumber humans 200 million to one
Canada borders on three oceans, Pacific,Atlantic and Arctic
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it....Frank Zappa
Whenever i feel blue, i just start breathing again
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
If we are not supposed to eat animals how come they are made out of meat.
Why must all good things end while mediocre things last forever
I am so happy today,i found my friends, they are in my head...Kurt Cobain
The word Gullible is not in the English dictionary
In a family of psychotics, it is a relief to be the insomniac
The all time most nominated Grammy artist is Quincy Jones with 77
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
What doesn't kill me doesn't make me stronger, it just pisses me off more.
While staring at my goldfish and making fun of him stuck in a little bowl, i imagined him making fun of me in this weird world, so i flushed him down the toilet, that will teach him.
The Oreo is the worlds best selling cookie.
And in closing, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, of course sometimes it is attached to a Freight train.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Hespeler Rednecks?
Proof that Rednecks can be found everywhere.
My Brother,myself and my two sisters. From 1965. Wonder what the rest of Cooper Street thought?
Monday, March 02, 2009
The Original Wedding Crasher
Recently my wife made me watch a wretched little movie called "The Wedding Crashers" and it got me to thinking about an old Friend of mine from Hespeler who in my mind was the original "Wedding Crasher". Let me tell you the story.
Paul was an original, definitely playing in a different world with a different set of rules. He was wild, funny and completely off his rocker but that is why we all loved the guy. But the one thing he kept telling us was how he could get into any event like Weddings, family reunions etc. We never believed him, but hey if he told the story while we were sitting around having a few beers and what nots, that was good enough for us. But one day we got the chance to see him in action, and what a smoothie he was.
It was late summer[1977 I believe] and a bunch of us were at our local lake having a swim and enjoying ourselves, when low and behold we came across a family obviously in the midst of a get together and that is when Paul went to work. He walked around the outside of the get together so people would notice him and he paid attention to what was being said about who was there and who was not there and then he found out what he needed and he struck.
Some of the family did not show up including a Aunt and her family that many in the group had never seen or had not seen for years and Paul was in like Flint. He spent the next 2 hrs eating and drinking with this group who had no idea he was not who he said he was, he played a little volleyball and lawn darts while we all watched from a safe distance, laughing and just waiting for him to get caught, It never happened. Paul finally left the party and came over to join us and tell us how he did it. It seems that the Aunt that did not show up had re-married and had a son from her second husband that no one knew and Paul just assumed his identity. And it worked perfectly, no one suspected a thing he said and the beer and food were great and he even got a phone number from one of the cousins[whether he called her or not we don't know], and as we left the beach that night we just marvelled at the gut's he had and we finally knew his story's were true.
As for Paul unfortunately he passed away in September of 1979. But i would like to think that somehow he snuck into heaven and God still has not caught him!
Paul was an original, definitely playing in a different world with a different set of rules. He was wild, funny and completely off his rocker but that is why we all loved the guy. But the one thing he kept telling us was how he could get into any event like Weddings, family reunions etc. We never believed him, but hey if he told the story while we were sitting around having a few beers and what nots, that was good enough for us. But one day we got the chance to see him in action, and what a smoothie he was.
It was late summer[1977 I believe] and a bunch of us were at our local lake having a swim and enjoying ourselves, when low and behold we came across a family obviously in the midst of a get together and that is when Paul went to work. He walked around the outside of the get together so people would notice him and he paid attention to what was being said about who was there and who was not there and then he found out what he needed and he struck.
Some of the family did not show up including a Aunt and her family that many in the group had never seen or had not seen for years and Paul was in like Flint. He spent the next 2 hrs eating and drinking with this group who had no idea he was not who he said he was, he played a little volleyball and lawn darts while we all watched from a safe distance, laughing and just waiting for him to get caught, It never happened. Paul finally left the party and came over to join us and tell us how he did it. It seems that the Aunt that did not show up had re-married and had a son from her second husband that no one knew and Paul just assumed his identity. And it worked perfectly, no one suspected a thing he said and the beer and food were great and he even got a phone number from one of the cousins[whether he called her or not we don't know], and as we left the beach that night we just marvelled at the gut's he had and we finally knew his story's were true.
As for Paul unfortunately he passed away in September of 1979. But i would like to think that somehow he snuck into heaven and God still has not caught him!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Where is my Igloo?
Talking to an American the other night made me realise that we are still misunderstood on the world scene. This gentleman was intelligent but had no real knowledge of Canada. So in searching the web, here are 10 myths about Canada that are still out there.
10.All our Policeman are Mounties......that is what this guy thought.
9.Our national sport is hockey...All right so a lot of Canadians think this too, It is actually Lacrosse.
8.Canadians do not own guns...Actually, per capita we have as many guns, if not more than the United States, we just do not use them as much.
7.We all speak French...well I don't know about you, but, Merci is about all I know.
6.All Canadians say EH and Aboot...And all southerners say y'all[that ended that topic]
5.Canada has no film Industry....The list of Canadian Movies is very impressive[I will do a separate story on that]
4.We don't get the same entertainment options as Americans....every movie and television show is released in Canada at the same time as America, and all the music groups tour here at the same time .
3.There is snow almost all year long.....It may seem that to us.It still amazes me that this one is still out there.
2.Canada has Polar Bears everywhere...This guy wanted to know where the viewing site was.
1.WE LIVE IN IGLOOS.....Really! I wonder if mine has central heating.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Church's
Overlooking the Speed River and Spring Street. The three churches that are at the corner of Queen Street and Cooper Street.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
More from the juke box
Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll
One of my favorite punk/pop stars of the 70's. His whole catalog is worth a listen.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Between Woodstock and Reagan{Here among the Cats}
While sitting in a little local bar last night with a few friends listening to a real crappy karaoke version of "Smoke on the Water" we began to reminisce about the bars and bands that used to play in the region. While the bars are now gone, to be replaced by little corner pubs and assorted other things the music is still there. Today try to find a top notch rock band in their prime or an incredible top flight show band that even comes close to the area, it is not going to happen.
The Matador Tavern,Leisure Lodge,Coronet,Highlands/Tudor Tavern,Waterloo Motor Inn and if you were in the Muskokas the Kee to Bala[the only one still going]. The bands that traveled through here are legendary now,some still touring and others relegated to the back pages of our minds.
Longneck quartz bottles at the Tudor, fancy show bands at the Matador, the funniest waiter I have ever encountered at the Leisure Lodge,trying to find our way home in a drunken stupor from the Coronet and crawling out of Lake Muskoka to see a live Saturday night show at the Kee.
Myles and Lenny
Zon
Prism--a unknown band called the cars opened for them
A foot in cold water
Moxy
Major Hooples Boarding House
McLean and McLean
Jack the Bear
Jason--Steve Smith introduced his "Red Green " character in this show band
Triumph--Rik Emmett once threatened to beat me up at the Tudor
Max Webster
Rush
Fludd
April Wine
The madcats
Doucette--he may have had only one song, but what a song
Mashmakan
Copper Penny
Goddo.............These were just some of the acts that played these bars. Kind of beats a drunk woman singing a Janis Joplin tune now don't it. Well I think Iwill go put on a Max Webster album and chill. Till next time,RAP IS CRAP
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Paybacks a bitch or how a Hespeler Dad gets his revenge!
The old saying is of course Payback is a bitch and in this story it is dead on, so let me tell you.
Like all teenagers i managed to steal some beer and liquor off my dad on weekends, i mean who didn't. The thing was he never really said a word about and i was able to do it for a number of years and never thought of the consequences until years later. I had recently separated from my wife and had moved back to my Parents home to re-group and try to start all over and my father got his revenge. One Saturday i had picked up a 24 of Heineken and put it in my basement refrigerator and went out to do some things and about 3 hours later returned home and went to grab a beer, well guess what? Yep, most were gone, now i was used to my Dad grabbing one or two but 20? It seems a couple of his buddies had come over and my Dad had only 2 of his beer left so he felt now was the time to raid my fridge and raid it they did, leaving me with 4 and a trip to the beer store to replenish my stock[this was before Sunday beer store hours] for the weekend. When i returned I looked at my Dad and the grin on his face said it all...This is how a Hespeler Dad get's his revenge!
Like all teenagers i managed to steal some beer and liquor off my dad on weekends, i mean who didn't. The thing was he never really said a word about and i was able to do it for a number of years and never thought of the consequences until years later. I had recently separated from my wife and had moved back to my Parents home to re-group and try to start all over and my father got his revenge. One Saturday i had picked up a 24 of Heineken and put it in my basement refrigerator and went out to do some things and about 3 hours later returned home and went to grab a beer, well guess what? Yep, most were gone, now i was used to my Dad grabbing one or two but 20? It seems a couple of his buddies had come over and my Dad had only 2 of his beer left so he felt now was the time to raid my fridge and raid it they did, leaving me with 4 and a trip to the beer store to replenish my stock[this was before Sunday beer store hours] for the weekend. When i returned I looked at my Dad and the grin on his face said it all...This is how a Hespeler Dad get's his revenge!
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Sunny Side Of life
Life is a struggle. The economy sucks,every day you go to work,put up with crap,fight traffic to get home,find out there is something that needs to be fixed at home,check your hydro bill,your cable bill,your Gas bill,your car insurance bill, your tax bill and then you realise you are out of beer. To hell with it you say. Well relax and let's look at the sunny side of life, the little things that make the world a better place.
Watching your kids grow up and taking their first steps, saying their first words. Walking with your Wife and the dog and relaxing by the waterfalls that we have in Cambridge. Sitting in the backyard, the BBQ cooking the steaks, a cold beer in your hands and good friends and family with you. Being able to communicate with your family anytime you feel like it. Watching the snow fall or viewing a thunder and lightning storm. Smelling the warm spring rain. Watching a hockey game. Coming home and knowing your Wife understands your moods. Smelling the laundry when it first comes out of the dryer. Sitting in the stands at a ballgame soaking up the sun. going thru old pictures and remembering the good old day's. Running into a long lost friend and releiazing he has aged more than you. Finnaly finishing painting the room you have always left un-painted. Watching an old Bogart movie. Having your Grandkids giving you a hug for no other reason than you are you. Being able to see your grand-children grow up. Knowing that your kids are going to be allright. Finding a $10 bill in last summers shorts. Fitting into last summers shorts. Knowing that canada is still the worlds best place to live. Watching wildlife in it's natural habitat. Seeing the sunrise and watching a sunset that knocks your socks off. Knowing that you have put in a good day's work and lived your life the best you can.
See! It is not all bad, there are many good things about your world so enjoy them ll and feel free to add your own. AWEN my friends AWEN
Watching your kids grow up and taking their first steps, saying their first words. Walking with your Wife and the dog and relaxing by the waterfalls that we have in Cambridge. Sitting in the backyard, the BBQ cooking the steaks, a cold beer in your hands and good friends and family with you. Being able to communicate with your family anytime you feel like it. Watching the snow fall or viewing a thunder and lightning storm. Smelling the warm spring rain. Watching a hockey game. Coming home and knowing your Wife understands your moods. Smelling the laundry when it first comes out of the dryer. Sitting in the stands at a ballgame soaking up the sun. going thru old pictures and remembering the good old day's. Running into a long lost friend and releiazing he has aged more than you. Finnaly finishing painting the room you have always left un-painted. Watching an old Bogart movie. Having your Grandkids giving you a hug for no other reason than you are you. Being able to see your grand-children grow up. Knowing that your kids are going to be allright. Finding a $10 bill in last summers shorts. Fitting into last summers shorts. Knowing that canada is still the worlds best place to live. Watching wildlife in it's natural habitat. Seeing the sunrise and watching a sunset that knocks your socks off. Knowing that you have put in a good day's work and lived your life the best you can.
See! It is not all bad, there are many good things about your world so enjoy them ll and feel free to add your own. AWEN my friends AWEN
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Wild oats and Shredded Wheat
Never raise your hands to your kids:It leaves your groin unprotected
The inventor of Vaseline ate a spoonful of the stuff every morning.
"I really didn't say everything i said"---Yogi Berra
"Ive had a perfectly good evening, but this wasn't it"--Groucho Marx
Expressholes=People who try to sneak more than the eight items or less into the express lane
I believe in luck, how else do you explain the success of those i don't like
Mike Tyson's guide to dating etiquette--a book that will never be written
My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat
I have a photographic memory,unfortunately i am out of film
The invisible man married the invisible woman, their kids ain't much to look at either
Why don't more people wear capes?
4 billion years of evolution and i still can't stop drooling on myself.
"I think woman should be armed but not allowed to vote"--Ann Coulter 2001
A bad web address, PEN ISLAND---http://www.penisland.net
"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour even longer"---GOD
I don't trust my stockbroker, he is married to a travel agent
There is nothing like the love of a good woman, but the love of a bad woman is not too shabby either.
My friends say i live in my own little world, but that's okay, everyone likes me there
And in parting remember--if the shoe fits, it's probably expensive
The inventor of Vaseline ate a spoonful of the stuff every morning.
"I really didn't say everything i said"---Yogi Berra
"Ive had a perfectly good evening, but this wasn't it"--Groucho Marx
Expressholes=People who try to sneak more than the eight items or less into the express lane
I believe in luck, how else do you explain the success of those i don't like
Mike Tyson's guide to dating etiquette--a book that will never be written
My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat
I have a photographic memory,unfortunately i am out of film
The invisible man married the invisible woman, their kids ain't much to look at either
Why don't more people wear capes?
4 billion years of evolution and i still can't stop drooling on myself.
"I think woman should be armed but not allowed to vote"--Ann Coulter 2001
A bad web address, PEN ISLAND---http://www.penisland.net
"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour even longer"---GOD
I don't trust my stockbroker, he is married to a travel agent
There is nothing like the love of a good woman, but the love of a bad woman is not too shabby either.
My friends say i live in my own little world, but that's okay, everyone likes me there
And in parting remember--if the shoe fits, it's probably expensive
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
What became of?
The Milkman
Trading stamps
Gee!Your hair smells terrific shampoo
Anacin
Geritol
White Rain hairspray
Accent meat tenderizer
Quisp cereal
Frankenberry cereal
Dyna Mints
Licorice records
ronco record cleaning machine
Nestle's Treasures chocolate bar
Rum and Butter Chocolate bars
Hai Karate cologne
Hi C Fruit juice
And family sitting around for warm drinks and cake!
February 3rd 1959
Don mclean - American pie (live)
[via FoxyTunes / Don McLean]
The Day the music died. 50 years ago the plane carrying Ritchie Valens,The Big Bopper[J.P. Richardson] and Buddy Holly went down near Clear lake Iowa.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Hespeler way to Shovel your Driveway
With another snowfall upon us, and more shoveling required i feel it is my
civic duty to explain the Hespeler way of snow-shoveling. This has been
handed down to me from my father who got it from his father who got
it..well you get the point. Now in this system of snow shoveling you
need some very important ingredients, so here they are.
Winter Boots..I use Sorel Caribou as they are lightweight and keep my feet warm.
Gloves..I use Isotoner Ultra Dry Hybrid Gloves. Again they are lightweight and they keep a nice fresh smell to them.
Headwear…North end make some very nice toques for Canadian Winters.
Coat….I wear a Far West Goretex coat in a bright red colour, which comes in handy if you happen to fall in a snowbank.
Beer[6 bottles]..This one is very important, and so i recommend a good
sturdy Canadian Brew, i myself use Creemore Springs. Good flavour and
robust body.[ endorsement cheques can be sent to me care of the
Cambridge Voice]
Okay now that you have assembled all the necessary ingredients, here is what you do.
Get your gear on and make sure everything is comfy. Take your 6 Beers
and put them strategically around your driveway. 2 on both sides of the
road area of your driveway,2 on both sides of the driveway, halfway up
and 2 more at the beginning of your driveway close to your door. You
then survey your area, break the driveway down into squares that will
lead you to each beer in orderly fashion. You can now begin shoveling
in each square, rewarding yourself with a beer each time a square is
finished. And by the time you get to the last beer, your driveway is
done and you feel pride in a good job well done, as well as having nice
little buzz going which will help you if you plan to sit down and watch
the Toronto Maple leafs on TV after finishing the driveway. Your
Welcome. Of course the other way to do it is to sit in the house
drinking the 6 beers while your Son-in-law brings his snowblower over
and does your driveway.[thanks Alan..burb]
And that is the Hespeler way of shoveling your driveway.
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Swinging 60 chicks
Where are the swinging sexy babes of my youth? Well they are a lot older now but i still remember them like it was yesterday. Here are the ten woman that made me go ohhh! All from that swinging time known as the 60's.
10. Ann Margaret--oozed sexuality
9. Marilyn Monroe--the ultimate pin up girl.
8. Raquel welch--no one looked as good as her in a bathing suit
7. Bridgett Bardot--Even Elton John thought she was sexy.
6. Goldie Hawn--she could have socked it too me anytime
5. Ursala Andress--or as we called her Ursala undressed
4. Aretha Franklin--She made bigger woman and Gospel music sexy
3. Barbara Eden--I rubbed many a bottle trying to find one as sexy as her.
2. Nancy Sinatra--Her boots could of walked all over me
1. Elizabeth Montgomery---Who didn't want to become bewitched by her?
Lindsay Lohan,Paris Hilton and the rest of you posers can eat your heart out. These were real woman!!!!!
10. Ann Margaret--oozed sexuality
9. Marilyn Monroe--the ultimate pin up girl.
8. Raquel welch--no one looked as good as her in a bathing suit
7. Bridgett Bardot--Even Elton John thought she was sexy.
6. Goldie Hawn--she could have socked it too me anytime
5. Ursala Andress--or as we called her Ursala undressed
4. Aretha Franklin--She made bigger woman and Gospel music sexy
3. Barbara Eden--I rubbed many a bottle trying to find one as sexy as her.
2. Nancy Sinatra--Her boots could of walked all over me
1. Elizabeth Montgomery---Who didn't want to become bewitched by her?
Lindsay Lohan,Paris Hilton and the rest of you posers can eat your heart out. These were real woman!!!!!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Another story from the Dodge Coronet
As I said in a previous post, I owned a 1969 Dodge Coronet and had many good experience in it and this is one of the tales.
It was May of 1976 and the Rock Band KISS were coming to Toronto and as fans my friends and i had to go, and go we did. The show was fantastic and the availability of Alcohol and Marijuana made it even better, but the true story was the ride home. We took the Coronet because it was the biggest car in the group and since 5 of us were going it was a no brainer to take it. The problem started on the way home from Maple Leaf Gardens when the bowels started to kick in and the peeing sessions began. After 4 or 5 stops we decided to try to make it home without another stop to make last call at a bar in town so we began to hold it and pray. It did no good. As we hit the Petro station just outside of town all hell was going to break loose as all 5 of us had to pee and pee badly, so into the station we flew and the sight would make us laugh for many a year later.
As the car entered the exit to the station we were doing a little over the speed limit and we were all holding everything in but we could not wait until the car completely stopped so i slapped on the brakes, went into a skid, stopped the car at a weird angle and 5 guys fell out of the 2 doors and proceeded to Begin dispensing our fluids. The worst part we were right beside 2 OPP cruisers and who were staring at us in total disbelieve. After we were finished we got back into the car and slowly drove off with the Police just staring at what they had just seen.
Maybe you had to be there, but it was quite a scene and one that we will never forget.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
My Juke Box
Don't Go/Hothouse Flowers
[via FoxyTunes / Hothouse Flowers]
The first of many videos to come. My favourite songs from every generation. Enjoy. This is the Hothouse flowers and Don't Go.
Signs i am getting older[part 1]
Now this is a definite sign that i am getting older. When i was younger Saturday night meant drinking and carousing. Now i may still once in a while do that but staying at home and making cookies with my granddaughter and drinking coffee is what i seem to do more.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Guelph Ave 1900
This is a now famous picture looking up Guelph Ave towards the fisher Mills area, it was taken around 1900. Notice the old Queens hotel that we now call Ernies still looks the same.
Monday, January 12, 2009
More crap that bugs me
People that i run into at a movie or event and ask me "what are you doing here" simple idiot, i am either stalking you or doing my taxes, what the hell do you think.
New and Improved on packaging...what you were giving us crap before that, trust me i have tried the new and improved Special k and it sucks, nothing improved about that.
You can't have your cake and eat it too..want to bet? If i buy a cake i am damn well going to eat it.
Able -bodied people on welfare---put them to work and they can be just as incompetent as the rest of us, and they will feel better about it.
Donald Trump---I think he is Satan.
Can i ask you a Question?---you have started, you might as well finish
Anyone else have problems getting the wrappers off CD cases?-drives me nuts
People that point at their arms when asking for the time.
The sound of people eating
Cornball News Anchor names-Wolf Blitzer,Stone Phillips Willow Bay---please where is Harvey Kirk when you need him
Guys over 40 with ponytails, really. But not that guy up in the right hand corner.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
What the Hell does that mean[chapter 1]
Just some sayings that bug me.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush......Makes no sense two birds are better than one. Plus the one in my hand would probably crap in it.
A bitter pill....Anytime I am sick a pill is not bitter to me
A chip off the old block.....A chip off of anything and my wife makes me throw it out.
A diamond in the rough....I don't care where you find a diamond it's all worth the same.
A feather in his cap....o.k., if any guy in my neighborhood growing up put a feather in his cap we would have beat him up.
The hair of the dog...This one has never made sense to me. Iknow what it means but really, this and A dogs breakfast, totally stupid.
A happy camper...Any time I can get camping is a happy time, I don't know any unhappy campers.
A Mexican standoff....Is it different than a Swedish standoff, and what do they call it in Mexico? A Washington standoff?
Ain't just whistling Dixie.....Don't get it and don't care about this one
Apple of my eye....I don't like apples that much and apples go bad real quick after you peel them
Bump in the night....Bump in the day is just as bad I think...
That is all for now, there are plenty more and when I have time I will post some that really bug me.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush......Makes no sense two birds are better than one. Plus the one in my hand would probably crap in it.
A bitter pill....Anytime I am sick a pill is not bitter to me
A chip off the old block.....A chip off of anything and my wife makes me throw it out.
A diamond in the rough....I don't care where you find a diamond it's all worth the same.
A feather in his cap....o.k., if any guy in my neighborhood growing up put a feather in his cap we would have beat him up.
The hair of the dog...This one has never made sense to me. Iknow what it means but really, this and A dogs breakfast, totally stupid.
A happy camper...Any time I can get camping is a happy time, I don't know any unhappy campers.
A Mexican standoff....Is it different than a Swedish standoff, and what do they call it in Mexico? A Washington standoff?
Ain't just whistling Dixie.....Don't get it and don't care about this one
Apple of my eye....I don't like apples that much and apples go bad real quick after you peel them
Bump in the night....Bump in the day is just as bad I think...
That is all for now, there are plenty more and when I have time I will post some that really bug me.
Monday, January 05, 2009
New Years Ramblings
Bees have 3 eye lids
"BOB" was the first hurricane named after a male in 1979
I owe a lot to my parents--especially my mom and dad
My mind works like lightning- one brilliant flash and then it's gone
There are 2 types of pedestrians..the quick and the dead
Disco still sucks
I think feminists are cute
Impotence is natures way of saying no hard feelings
If
every person in the world would help just one other person, what a
beautiful world this would be..especially if that person they helped
was me!
The thing i like best about fantasy is that i can afford it
Matspur--the one wheel on a shopping cart that goes opposite the other 3
In Belgium there is a museum dedicated to just Strawberry's
Don't mess with the dead, boy do they have weird powers
"If i can't dance i don't want to be part of your revolution"--Emma Goldberg
Good Grief--An oxymoron
Man who run behind car get exhausted
Sharks cannot swim backwards, but goldfish can
"Love may be the answer but sex brings up some pretty good questions"--Woody Allen
And remember Don't hit your kids..no really they have guns now!!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Winter in hespeler
That is me holding my Dad's hand. This picture is from 1960, it was taken at the old house on Cooper Street.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
12 Songs of Christmas i don't want to hear!
I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus
Frosty the hitman
I have an irregular heartbeat,pa rum papumm-pumm
It's beggining to look a lot like Prison
On the first day of Christmas...i maxed out my credit card
Silent fart
Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire
Santa Claus is scammin this town
Frosty my dopeman
I'll be homeless for Christmas
Rudolph hess the Red nosed Nazi
Walking around in womans underwear.
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