The Move is Complete

Well, i am done moving. Everything is in the new house and me my wife and the dog have settled in and are getting used to the place.To be back living on Cooper Street is a little weird and especially that from one of the bedroom windows i can see the old house that my family called home for roughly 50 years. And why did we choose February to move? I mean moving in the day after a major snow fall was not a perfect idea but we survived. Nothing got broken, which in itself must be some kind of record and the place actually looked livable by 3:00 in the afternoon, again some kind of a record. The beer was cold and the atmosphere warm so now it is time to get back to real life, and who knows how that will turn out. Now as you may have noticed i changed the title of this blog to COOPER STREET RELIC because basically i am a relic of this street and proud of it. That is all for now and beware i have a lot of weird stuff to post in the coming months. Bye Bye!

John Stewart RIP

Sometimes a musician comes along and records something that sticks in your memory for many years and refuses to leave you, that musician to me was John Stewart. Not the Jon Stewart that is the brilliant TV host of A Daily show but the musician who was a part of the Kingston trio and had a very successful solo carear. While he was never a radio staple or an MTV icon his music touched a lot of people and he was an active recording artist up to his death on the weekend. As a matter of fact he was working on a new album at the time.
His best known song was "Daydream Believer", which was of course a big hit for the Monkeys, but he also had a top 10 hit in the 70's with the song "Gold" from one of his biggest albums called 'Bombs Away Dream Babies'. But his best known album is "California Bloodlines" released in 1969 and considered on of the seminal albums in the country/rock/folk field. Yes he combined all three in a now classic album and if you can find it it is well worth the search. But for the beginner listen to his greatest hits collection called "Airdream Believer" which is a re-recording of his best done with artists like Stevie Nicks, Johnny Cash and Rosanne Cash.
The Lonesome picker may be gone but his music will live on. RIP

Hespeler Innovation

Now that is a mobile home that is also practical.

What we need!

Our own police force would go a long way towards curbing some problems

Puff Balls,Smelts and Corn on the Cob

The world changes and many things vanish forever, and sometimes we forget all about them, but occasionally something happens that remind us of what was once familiar to us. The other day that happened to me and so i thought i would jot everything down. So here goes another list of things i miss.

Red Barn Restaurants
Hanging with friends at the fort on old Holiday Inn Drive
The wicked curve that was at the cemetery on Cooper Street
The Fire siren and the 2Am phone calls for my dad when he was a volunteer Fireman in Hespeler
The chocolate bars that my Dad would leave for us after his bowling nights
French fry's with vinegar and salt at the old Arena
Sayvette,Tower of London and other stores in the old mall
Puff Balls,smelts and Corn on the cob dinners
Concord grape doughnuts from Tim hortons
Yellow Submarine shops
Tien Sun Inn and Mothers Pizza
My Moped
Fanta Pop
Max Saltsman-As honest a politician as there ever was
Buns Masters Bakery
Records on Wheels
The Hespeler Textile Festival
Big Jugs of Beer at Frank Vetere's
Hilltop Fish and Chips
The matador Tavern and Nicholsons Tavern

And probably the biggest thing i miss is not being able to get together with family and friends as much as i would like.

January warmups

You know your Grandchildren love you when they not only bless you when you snezze but also help you look for your teeth.
Fiction writing is great, you can make almost anything up---Ivana Trump
McJob--A low paying job that requires little skill and no opportunity for advancement.

Woman, can't live with 'em,ah hell just pass the beer nuts.
Revenge is a dish best served with something the other person is allergic to.
Honesty may be the best policy,but insanity is a better defense

I'm out for a good time all the rest is propaganda
It's always darkest before i open my eyes
Warning: Dates in a calender are closer than they appear

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart
I wanted to start the year off with a bang but my wife had a headache
The Amazon rain forest produces 20% of the worlds oxygen supply

And remember Never go to bed angry, stay up all night and plot your revenge.

New Years Resolutions that even I can keep

Everybody makes resolutions that wind up being broken by January 3rd. So i made mine on January 3rd and so i am ahead of a lot of people, and here they are.

Gain weight
Stop exercising
Read less
Watch more TV
Procrastinate more. .......Ah to hell with this, i will start again tomorrow

Winter in Hespeler

Looks like a winter wonderland, pure and innocent.

Party at the new Hespeler Hot Spot

One of the reasons i have not been posting lately. The Duke and Duchess is open!!

When i was a teen

When i was a teenager growing up in this town words had a slightly different meaning:

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a television show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spiders home
A virus was what you caught
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long drive with my family
A mouse pad was where the mice lived

And if you had a 3 inch floppy, you just hoped nobody ever found out!

My how times have changed!

Hespeler Hootanny

I remember as a kid in the 60's when Saturday night meant my Dad and my relatives and friends would gather at the house and enjoy themselves. Those nights are long gone, now we go down to the Barking Fish and watch karaoke! UGHH. In this picture is my Dad and my Uncle Patrick McLaughlin.

Hespeler hot tubs

Now that is the way to spend a winters night in Hespeler

Farfrompoopin and Nuns farts

I always wanted to be somebody, but maybe i should of been more specific
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for re-incarnation, the other eight don't matter"--Henry Miller
Last night i dreamed i had insomnia

"The problem with the world is that everyone is always a few drinks behind me"--Humphrey Bogart
Murphy was a freaking optimist
My wife and i like to have hallway sex-we pass each other in the hall and tell each other to fuck off

How come you can kill a deer and put it's head on a wall but you are not allowed to keep one as a pet?
If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?
Why is Charlie short for Charles when they both have the same amount of letters?

In France a cinnamon roll is sometimes called a Nuns Fart
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a front for the urge to rule"--H.L. Mencken
I may not be able to buy happiness but i still want the money

Farfrompoopin--Another word for constipation
Fact: No man has ever been shot and killed by his wife while doing the dishes.
You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater because then all you will have is a wet critically injured baby.

Everyone has to have a goal in life, mine is to ruin as many peoples dreams as possible
Sex is like being in the army,the closer to discharge you get the better you feel
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves"--Confucians

And in parting remember the words of my Father; Never trust the dog to watch your food

If looks could kill

Good old fashioned Hespeler stare!

Between Woodstock and Reagan[The great Hespeler Moped Crash of 1973]

The other day one of my student employees came into work all bruised and battered, so naturally I asked him what happened and as he explained that he wiped out on his mountain bike while riding home from work, my mind flashed back to an incident that happened to me.
It was in July 1973 when the great explore Moped crash occurred. I was 15 going on 16 and as such did not have a drivers license so my parents gave me the next best thing, they bought me a Moped for my up coming birthday. Not that they really had a choice as 5 of my friends already had one or were getting one for the summer ahead, so on a late June day they presented me with my Fire engine red Moped. That was the beginning of the summer of driving, I went everywhere on it, to kitchener, Guelph and points in between. Hell even some of the girls loved them and that made me even more popular[not a bad side effect to that]. But as in anything that teenagers set their mind to we got more adventurous on the bikes and soon were able to do wheelies like the big boy's, we even nicknamed ourselves "Hespelers Rejects", not a good name I admit but hey! We were teenagers. So all of June and July we terroised the streets of Hespeler and even the local constabulary'flashlight Freddie" could not stop us,of course i don't think he really tried that hard. And so July 26th came in to play.
It was one of those warm summer rain kind of day's, not hard enough or long enough to stop your fun but still damp enough for the average person to be careful while out on the road. And there was the problem, thought did not enter the equation. So off the 6 of us went that day driving down the hills and valleys of Hespeler without a care in the world and then Edward Street appeared on the Horizon and the challenge was made. I don't know who made the call but it was there, drive as fast as we van down Edward toward the valley and may the best man win. Everything was going good, I sat in a close third when suddenly just before the bottom of the hill someone went down and the rest of us followed, by the time we finished tumbling and sliding there were 6 mopeds and 6 bodies lying on Edward street, scuffed, bruised and bloody but we all managed to pull ourselves together get our mopeds off the street and survey the damage. There were no broken bones or damaged mopeds, somehow we all survived that crash. As we sat at the side of the road we all just suddenly started laughing and realized what a funny sight we must of made, six bodies and 6 bikes rolling and sliding down Edward. Needless to say that was the end of the day for all of us as we slinked off to lick our wounds and get ready to ride another day.
As for the rest of the summer , well let's just say we rode a little more carefully...Ah who am I kidding we did not learn our lesson and continued to drive as stupidly as ever. As for the Mopeds, well they lasted one more year as many of us got our drivers license and moved on to bigger and better things, but probably still did not drive any safer....And that my friends is the story of the Great Hespeler Moped crash of 1973...Drive safely everyone..

From the files

Some old Hespeler girls. From the war years. My Mom and her Sisters with her parents.

Fireman vs Police

This is from around 1969[ I'm not sure of the date, but it is in that area] it was a benefit hockey game pitting the Hespeler Fireman against the Hespeler Police. The fireman won 5-3 and i remember having a great time at it. In the picture is Jack Stark,Jack Westbrook and Jim Hillis[my dad]. During the game Police chief Fred Stewart was assessed a number of penalties including 2 minuets for speeding and 2 min for leaving the scene of an accident after two members of the fireman collided and fell down. My Dad had to use a goalie stick that was 3 times bigger than a normal one to hide what chief Stewart called the sure target caused by my Dad's awkward goalie stance,some called it bowlegged. The police were forced to use wooden pucks on penalty shots to make handling easier. I have no idea how much money was raised but everyone had a good time.

Ethics, Vegetarians and Uranus

Ethics are annoying, i avoid them on principle
Who are our enemies, who are our friends? This is a question of the first importance for the revolution----Chairman Mao
My ship came in, but it hit an iceberg and sank

The only things in life that are unavoidable are death and taxes, oh and the occasional pedestrian
I love vegetarians, leaves more beef for me
Join the Army, meet interesting people then kill them

Good news: Your son has a girlfriend
Bad News: He is having sex with the married woman next door
Worst news: So are you

Laughing Stock:Cattle with a sense of humour
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
I hate waking up grumpy, so i usually let her sleep late

If love is the answer could you rephrase the question
"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes, there is too much fraternizing with the enemy"--Henry Kissinger

In Chicago it was once illegal to leave your Elephant outside at night.
"I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than i do"---Selma Hayek
Uranus is the only planet that rotates on it's side

Edwards/Obama/Clinton. The middle aged mod squad
Baldage: The accumulation of hair in the drain after a shower
There are over 15'000 miles of neon tubing in Las Vegas


And in parting
What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A=BINGO

Now and Then

Me in 2007 and from 1982, where the hell did all the hair go?

Hespeler Arena

I remember the cold Saturday mornings getting up at 6am so we could be on the ice for 7. and as we pretended to be our favorite Maple Leaf or Canadian our fathers would be sitting in the stands drinking their coffee spiced with whatever they had. No screaming at the coaches to put my kid in, no yelling at the refs[hell the refs were out drinking at the legion with our dads the night before] no pressure but to have a good time. Somehow memories of those days still cheer me up! And no matter how hard they try the new arena in town just doesn't have the same feel and attitude. No ghosts of Hespeler Shamrocks or Hespeler Mic macs wandering the halls. No smell of french frys will ever beat the old arenas. Call it what you will, i call it unforgettable.

In Memory of my Dad

June 25 1924-August18 1997

Dad, i look over to your chair
I look at the emptiness it brings because you're not there

Summer comes along with my birthday
Dad, and you're not there
with you're wide grin, the stupid hats that you would wear
My life comes full circle but Dad you're not there
Whether i fail or succeed Dad you re not there

As i grew you stood patiently behind me
allowing me to stretch my wings
test the waters
and allow me to make my own name

Thank you for loving me as you did
for my sisters and my Brother
For loving my Mother all those years

Thank you for being my Father
A Father whom i appreciate
A Father i still rely on
A Father though gone i still talk to
A Father who still listens
no matter how old i am

I was proud to have called you my Dad
And now 10 years on, i still love you
and your memory takes me back in time
I see the great lengths you went to and i realise now
although I'm grown
i still want you by my side.

Valley Store to Barking Fish

I remember when this was what is now the Barking Fish. This was before Zehrs and all the big chains came in and ruined the grocery shopping experience. Family run and personable workers. Progress!Bah Humbug!

Too Few free and easy Sunday Afternoons

What is it about Monday's? There have been many songs written about it, and most of them have not a good thing to say.
Rainy Day's and Monday's--The Carpenters
I don't like Monday's--The Boomtown Rats
Blue Monday---Fat's Domino
Call it Stormy Monday--Nancy Wilson These are just some songs and not one has a good thing to say about Monday. Now i know it is the first day of the week for many, and that in itself is a drag but at the same time i find it refreshing a day as there is. For Teenagers it is time to return to the books after a weekend with their friends, and for adults back to work after trying to accomplish work around their homes and visiting family and friends.
And Monday's have always had an interesting aura around them. They have been called Black Monday-Blue Monday-Wet Monday-Miracle Monday-Bloody Monday among others. And of course we have Easter Monday[or for some the First Monday]. Monday is the day to get the workweek on track and create a whole slew of new" to-do lists". There is even a medical ailment called "Mondayitis" an illness associated with Depression, involving going back to work.
The expression"Monday's child is fair of face" is actually inspiring,not a comedown. And since the first Monday there have been over 100,000 Mondays and yet the world still goes on. Some major events have happened on a Monday, yes, and here are some of them--Salvador Dali died on a Monday--Terry Kath of the Jazz/Rockband Chicago was shot to death on a Monday-Brenda Spenser inspired the Boomtown Rats to write "I don't like Mondays" by killing 2 people in her school on a Monday Morning-a protest in London England in 1886 on aMonday led to a riot and many unknown deaths--Wall street crashed on a Monday in 1929. Those are just some of the events that happened on a Monday. A survey in Colorado in 2002,found over a period of 6 weeks that more accidents happenned on the Roadways on a Monday than any other day. In Las Vegas a study done by the University of Las Vegas found that more police reports of Domestic Disturbances happened on Monday's.
Now are Monday's all bad? Of course not. In my case Monday's are usually the best day of the week. It is a day off for me and it allows me to hit the Malls and go shop, and the trafficc is always lighter going as fewer people are out and about during the day. So Monday's are my Sunday's and i appreciate them even if most people hate them. So Monday's are here to stay and nothing we do will change that, so i suggest that everyone learn to love Monday's, Hell there is even a band out of England called 'The Happy Monday's". I wonder if they get yelled at?
So i am off, it is Monday and i am going to enjoy it.
do not forget to check out my message board http://captainhespeler.proboards52.com/index.cgi Meet Me on the Corner

Until next time Keep a cold one in the Fridge you never know when i will show up.

Wedding Crashers Part 2?

This is a picture taken Saturday night at my daughters wedding. Look in the upper left hand corner, could this be a spirit of an old Hespelerite crashing the wedding? Thought i felt my dad around!!!!

My favourite live Earth songs

Like a lot of people i managed to catch a few of the songs performed on this past weekends concert festival and here is my list of the best songs.

The Heat goes on
Helter Swealter
Sympathy FROM the Devil
She blinded me with Liberal-biased Pseudo Science
Gore's so vain
Burn(ed) in the USA
Everybody wants to cool the world
goodbye Yellow specked Toad
Help me{i think I'm scalding}

and my number 1--Papas got a brand new handmade reasonable hemp based tote bag.

Happy Canada Day

Enjoy

Underpants and Galoshes

Now that i have your attention: The title of this piece refers to word that tickle my funnybone. Everyone has those words, little things that make you laugh. So without delay here is a list of some words that do it for me.

Bagpipes-Kumguat-dribble-wonky-velcrow-bonk-flop-quagmire-crevasse-trousers-punkydoodle-Bush[oh sorry, he just makes me laugh]-homo erectus-belfry-shenanigans-haberdashy-titmouse-smurf-hullabaloo-bamboozle-crumpets-wiffleball-dildo-crevice-glockenspiel-kalamazoo-cucamonga-guacamole-spleen-conservative[refer to bush]-swifter-walla walla-schnitzel-

well that is just a few, i will think of more later.

Oh and underpants and Galoshes.

Enjoying summer

My Dad, Mom and my two daughters 20 years ago. In our minds we are always looking back and remembering the good times and the events that occurred. I can't remember where this was taken but i believe on lake Nippising outside of North Bay. And time certainly does fly as this summer the little girl sandwiched between Mom and Dad will be getting married. But more on that later! So enjoy the summer and the memories it creates.

Queen Street Circa 1900

Nice and peaceful looking ain't it!

Religious names for Breasts!

The Lords pair
Heavenly canteens
Pearly weights
Pastor Baiters
Beelzeboobs
Pamela 36:D
First and second Mammalonians
The daughters of Levtiticus
Mounds of shame
Racks of Lamb of God.

There they are, now hopefully a bolt of lightening doesn't hit me!

The people on the street

Waterloo is definitely not Hespeler. While working up there for the last week, near the University's i noticed a lot of different things and people, a mixed crowd that is for sure.

following is what i noticed.

Overweight people that wear tight fitting clothes, people that walk with a constant grin or a constant frown, people talking to themselves, lovers joined at the hip, Chinese,Iraqis,Jamaicans and many other cultures hanging together with no problems, people yapping on cell phones, speed walkers, people just taking there time,post beat hippies, people overdressed for the weather and people under dressed for the weather, official looking people, sloppy looking people, straight couples and gay couples, people lost in thought, people eating while walking, people with long hair, people with short hair and people with no hair, people on bikes,scooters, skateboards, Rollerblades,walking dogs and even one walking a cat, people wearing hats, bandannas even a sombrero, people with backpacks, briefcases and grocery bags, people reading while walking, listening to their i-pods and probably the coolest guy was the one rollerblading while playing his guitar, now that was worth the day.
So go out and see what the world presents to you.

Images of Hespeler 2

A meeting of the Legion circa 1972? I am not sure of the date!

1976[From the archives]

What sets off a memory,i have no idea but today one occurred. I received a C.D. from a friend in Texas and when i played it a whole slew of memory's came flashing back to me. They are not life altering memories and who knows maybe not all of them are real. But for some reason they are there and i feel the need to tell them so bear with me while i go back to 1976.
An early fall evening and i am cruising down the back roads of my town just turned 19,3 freinds and myself a case of Molson Diamond and some cinci bud,the 1969 Dodge
coronet running smoothly and some Kiss[destroyer] playing on the cassette deck. Fighting over which movie we are going to see,i want Taxi Driver, Tony wants All the Presidents Men,big Bill wants to go see the Omen and Gary says the Bad news bears cause that is where most of the girls will be so we argue a little more and decide to just get some more beer and keep driving. Gas at 29 cents a gallon seems good so we keep going. We continue to argue over who has the best new album out right now,Aerosmith rocks,AC/DC high voltage,Blue Oyster Cult Agents of Fortune or the debut album of some band called Boston,we reach no decision and decide to listen to them all. More beer and a little more bud and next thing we know the debate is who would win a drinking contest our Prime minister Pierre Trudeau or the American President Gerald Ford we decide it would be Trudeau because we would be using Canadian beer. The conversation continues as we discuss this new show called Charlies Angels and just who is the hottest of them all no contest as we all agree Farrah Fawcett is the most duable. The topic then becomes the just completed Montreal Olympics and how poor Canada did,we discuss the Son of Sam killings in New York city,the Hoopla in the U.S. over the Bi-centennial,this new band we have heard about called the Ramones,as yet we have not heard them but they sound interesting,we discuss our girls,drink more beer and then remember that it is almost 11:00 and we have to get to one of our homes to watch Saturday Night Live. After that things get a little hazy but thats o.k. this memory is a good one and i will treasure it. And while the 4 of us don't get together that often anymore we all still remember the nights we want to. So to my Friend in Grand Praire Texas thank you for the Nitzinger C.Ds and for the memorys they brought back.

Another letter from WW2

My brother gave me a copy of a letter he had in his possession from another of our Uncles from Hespeler who served in the 2nd World War. Following is the letters contents.

August 17 1941

The Editor:

I received a copy of D.W. and W bugle last night when i came on duty and was really pleased to read all the local news. I'm writing this on duty so if it seems rather disjointed it is because i had to get up to quiet a wild bunch of Irishman we have here one with a fractured skull and when i say wild Irishman i mean exactly that.
The first thing that caught my eye were the pictures. They really looked interesting but you know i worked at all those jobs and somehow or other they never looked the same to me. Still I would not mind taking a whirl at it again. Maybe i will after this issue is over.
How is Red Wilfong, is he still in the dye house and Bill Clark,Shorty Reid and all the old gang. Is Jimmy Tordoff still on the tubs or has he decided to quit wahing Khaki and start wearing it. By the look of the paper the mill must be getting a preety good going over. Is Red Watson and his trusty .38 still guarding the back of the dyehouse. Oh yes one more thing i probably should know myself. Who is the patriotic society i have received two parcels from them and did not know whom i should send a letter of thanks. whoever they are must be getting the idea that i'm not grateful.
Next time you go through the dyehouse will you remind Jim Cutting that he still owes me that letter he promised a year ago. Since coming over here i have run across most of the boys in the 1st division. Just out of curiosity who is June Whorly, I have never heard of her myself but she seems to be creating a sensation among the boys of this unit.
I've been here eight months now and i think we have had rain 5 or 6 days a wek every week. It never rains in Scotland I've been there twice and it rained both times. Next time i'm going to Ireland.Most letters that i have read that fellows have written to the reporter have been very elaborate in describing the beauty of the country,the hospitality of the people. I will admit that the people as a whole are hospitable.Only it is pretty hard to convince some of them that the people of Canada don't ride down main trails waving tomahawks.
Due to scarcity of films and the fact that the sun never shines people over here don't take many pictures. but this one was taken in the surgical ward. Never mind i cant find it,here is another one instead. tell John From if he is still in the dyehouse that he might as well stay where he is, they have no schnapps here and the beer is terrible.
Well i guess that's just about winds up the news, although it seems that i all i have done is ask questions, so I'll say, as they say in Scotland

Cheerie--Bye
Ken Mclaughlin
Canadian Army Overseas.


Uncle Ken lived a full life and passed away on February 12th 2007.

Images of Hespeler

Looking down Guelph Avenue towards Fisher Mill. Circa 1900