Cooper Street Relic

New Site Location

2009-08-03T16:58:00.002-04:00

While i have enjoyed being on blogger, i have decided to move Cooper Street Relic to a new site on Wordpress. It gives me a few more options that i can experiment with. Here is the link and thank you for reading.

Cooper Street Relic

The Garden

2009-07-25T23:11:00.003-04:00

"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot"..Joni Mitchel's paradise may have been paved over but mine had 2 houses put on it. This is a story about that.
Last weekend was the McLaughlin family's annual reunion and as always happens when family gets together in our advancing years, we talk about many things but the past is always prominent. A subject that a few of the cousins and i discussed was the "Garden". And as Joni wrote in her song "Woodstock" "We got to get back to the garden".
Now this garden sat beside the old family home on Cooper Street and during the 60's it was like a haven to many of us, and it seemed to go on forever and ever, and to everyone in the family it was paradise. There was everything in it,peas,beets, raspberry and strawberry bush's,potatoes, onions, tomatoes, rhubarb and just about anything else you could think of. And come August corn stalks so tall we little ones could hide in them, and we used to play constantly in the garden eating the fresh veggie and fruits much to our Grandmother's chagrin, and the big Cherry tree beside it was just the icing on the cake.
Sunday dinners always meant fresh veggies and plenty of fruit for desert, and i never thought that we were an ordinary working class family, i thought we were farmers, Gawd those were beautiful day's and during the summer the sun setting on the garden would have made a beautiful postcard.
Ah, but those day's are gone and as the Sixties came to an end so did the garden. First the far section was sold to build a house and for a few years the garden still survived and produced great product. But after Grandma McLaughlin's passing things rapidly changed and a few years later we moved out of the big house and built another one right beside it that took up most of what was left of the Garden, even though my Uncle Alex stayed in the big house and kept a little version going, it was never the same. Now as i walk or drive past the property and i see flowers growing in the property's i feel that we had a little something to do with that, even though Paradise has been paved over. Lord on day's like this i miss that garden!

----------------
Now playing: Joni Mitchell - Big Yellow Taxi
via FoxyTunes

From the Original Hespeler Herald

2009-07-13T23:35:00.001-04:00

HESPELER HERALD-JAN. 27, 1922

Ed. Cutting had the misfortune to have two fingers of his right hand amputated while at work on a press at the Stamped and Enamelled Ware plant yesterday afternoon.

Ed Cutting had various jobs in Hespeler. He delivered coal by horse and wagon and he worked at the Stamped Enamel. His son Clarence recalled that during his employment at the "Stamp" Ed lost part of his finger. When the doctor arrived, he took the severed finger and through it out the window into the Speed River. Ed and Margaret lived across from the mill out by "Blackbridge". They also lived on Henderson Street in Hespeler. In later years, they lived in Puslinch , past the golf course.

Summer(past and present)

2009-07-12T18:09:00.002-04:00

Just a small video of Summer. Pictures from my past and present.

Hot Potato #7

2009-07-06T00:44:00.001-04:00

The summer is always a slower time but i still have a few weird thoughts and things to get off my mind so here are some more. Enjoy!

My Lawyer is an idiot, he got me into the Jehovah Witness protection program
4 out of 5 doctors recommend i go see another doctor
Virus is a Latin word meaning"your guess is as good as mine"

As i said before, i never repeat myself
There are no Stupid Questions, just inquisitive idiots
Honk if you like peace and quiet

There is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer...chuck Norris is always in control
Is a stolen Yam a Hot Potato?
I have a new pen name...i call myself BALLPOINT

My wife complains about how long it takes to water the plants..hey my bladder is only so big
I signed up for an Origami class, but it folded
Murphy was an optimist

My ex Mother in law buried 3 husbands and 2 were just taking a nap
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

Well that is it for now but remember
I still have a full deck, i just shuffle a little slower now.

The Throne Room has been invaded.

2009-06-30T22:19:00.004-04:00

I've had it, my space has been invaded, let me tell you about it. You know, they say that a man's home is his castle(don't tell my wife that though)and in my castle i had everything where i wanted it, or at least did until the grandchildren started to get older and discovered a few things. Now when i turn on my computer the first thing that comes up is the latest Miley Cyrus news, when i go to my music, somehow Jesse McCartneys music has found it's way onto my playlists. I go to get into the shower and i have to clear out a rubber duckie or two, and if i watch another eposide of "Wizards of Waverly place" it will be too soon. I went to get my lawn mower out of the shed and had to dig thru 4 soccer balls and a ton of badminton rackets and birdies, plus untangle the net that was put away"neatly"(yeah, right.) Now my beer can't go in the main fridge, as it has been replaced by Kool-Aid Koolers, my cheese mysteriously get's eaten and i have rediscovered the taste for Pop Tarts. Buy some oranges for a late night snack? Nope, they are gone before i even get close to them and i swear the one granddaughter should be swinging from trees as she eats bananas like there is no tomorrow. But the final straw occurred this past weekend, for in every castle is a throne room and of course for the modern man his throne room is the bathroom. And so Saturday night i went in to do what i do and as i reached into my Newspaper basket to grab some intellectual reading material i blindly opened what i thought was a book of mine i realized that what i had gotten a hold of was in fact one of my granddaughters Dr. Seuss books. I let out a blood curdling scream as i realized that the last Bastien of my privacy had been toppled, i now shared my bathroom reading material with an 8 year old. How would i explain this while having a beer at the Fish with my friends" Guess what guy's? i had a great movement and read Green Eggs and ham while i was at it. No more maxim's in the crapper..oh, life can be cruel.
Cambridge Conversations

James Robert Hillis..June 25 1924-August18 1997

2009-06-24T20:00:00.003-04:00

Last Month the Hillis family celebrated our Mothers 85th Birthday, and needless to say it was a happy time, even though my Father was only there in spirit as he had passed away in 1997. On Thursday June 25th he also would have turned 85 and i am sure a good party would have happened.
In a past story i wrote humorously about things my dad had taught me and while many were based in truth, obviously they were meant to bring a smile to everybody's face,however there were many things that i learned from my dad that were very important to who i am.
He taught me to admit when i was wrong, something that is very tough for many people to do. He taught me to drive, and to respect the road and others on it. He also made sure to let me know that you don't try to be somebody else, just be yourself. He taught me to be careful about what you say about other people, as it could come back to bite you. He taught me the importance of family, even though i didn't know it at the time. And while my Dad was big on involvement in sports, when he realized that i liked watching hockey but was not big on playing organized shinny, he was cool with it and told me to do what i liked. He tried to get me into hunting, but soon came to the conclusion that shooting animals was not in my blood and again was okay with it. But i think the most important thing that i learned from my dad was how to laugh and make people around me laugh as well. Oh, and if you have read the column on things my dad taught me, well, Flatulence and how to use it is still one thing he taught me that i still use well to this day. Happy Birthday Dad.

The Hespeler Communication Network.

2009-06-22T20:20:00.002-04:00

One of the things about growing up in a small town like Hespeler during the 60's and 70's was the communication network that existed in the town. A lot of it was good, as a small town we had a volunteer fire department and since my dad was a volunteer the only way to get the information about a fire was for each member to have an assigned person to call. So when the fire was phoned in the system would start. The first fireman would call the next on the list and so on and so on, until everyone was notified, and no matter what time of the day, this would occur. It was never a surprise to hear the phone ring at 2:30 in the morning. If someone was sick or got hurt everyone would find out quick enough, and really anything that happened went through the communication network. Even things that would get you in trouble, trust me i know.
In the day's before Ernie's the building was known as the Queens Hotel and was a regular spot for many of the locals, including my Dad and his cronies and since it sat at the main intersection in town they could sit and watch the town(and the Characters} go by. And that is how they got me. One warm summers evening i pulled up to the lights in my Dodge Coronet, the 8 track spitting out some raucous Zeppelin tunes, and as i was prone to do, i revved the engine a few times and when the lights turned green i spun out, squealing the tires and headed up Queen Street and headed home. Now this was no more than a two minute drive to my place and as i pulled into the driveway i saw my dad standing there with his arms folded and glaring at me like i had let in a game winning goal or something. Upon parking the Dodge and slipping out the door my Dad made it clear in no uncertain terms...don't ever squeal your tires in this town, go to Preston or Galt or even better Kitchener, but do not ever, ever do it in HIS town, and while i am at it turn the music down as nobody else downtown wants to hear that metal crap and wear a seatbelt goddamn it. I stood there stunned! How in the hell did he find out in 2 minutes what i had done? There was no such thing as cell phones in those days, he didn't have ESP, so how? As he explained it later, one of his chums was sitting at the bar and saw me there revving my engine and was on the phone to the old man when i peeled away from the corner, so by the time i got home the whole story was known. And you know what was worst? Later that day i went over to a friends house and his dad laughed at me for getting in trouble doing what i did. That Damn Hespeler Communication network had nailed me and their was nothing i could do about it.

Cooper Street Relic: A Hespeler Rock band from the 70's

2009-06-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

Cooper Street Relic: A Hespeler Rock band from the 70's

Hespeler Hideout photos

2009-06-16T22:20:00.002-04:00

The Hespeler Hideout

2009-06-16T17:57:00.006-04:00

I always wanted a fort and in the summer of 1974 at the age of 17 i got one. The fact that it was shared with about a dozen other guys was not a problem as it became our little hideout. A place where we could go and drink our beer and smoke our silly cigarettes without being bothered and of course entertain girls.
It sat on what is now Holiday inn Drive across from Jacob Hespeler High School and back by Hwy 401. The beauty of it was the fact that back then Holiday inn Drive stopped at the Holiday Inn and past that all the way to Townline Road was nothing but Forest, Tress and brush, plenty of trees and brush. The only way in was by foot and that suited us just fine as the Police could not get in without us seeing them and by the time they did we could be long gone. As for the OPP coming up from behind on the 401 they would be as visible as my receding hairline is now. And besides, i think the local Constabulary's were quite happy knowing that we were not bothering the citizens of the village.
I don't remember who built it or how we found it, but it was there and on any giving Friday or Saturday night you could find us sitting around the fire and just carousing and enjoying the waning day's of our youth, and if it rained, so be it we had a good roof on it. One winter we even used it despite the danger of having a fire inside of it, of course trekking up there on a cold February night was a chore but the rewards were worth it. So what brings this story on, well let me tell you.
I drive past the spot almost every day and think about the good times that were held there but had not set foot up there in almost 35 years, until yesterday. With my wife working and myself having a day off, no yard worl to do i took my camera and went for a drive and for some reason i pulled into the little parking area and stood facing the hill that the fort was on, and i began the walk up there. And the walk was just as i remembered, arduous but enjoyable, and when i got to the hill and found the spot where it stood i felt peaceful. I thought of friends that had were no longer with us and friends that i never see but for some reason i saw them there. I saw the fort, even though it was long gone, i saw the fires and i saw the forest. I know it sounds corny but i enjoyed those 20 minutes i spent there like none that i have in a long time. And as i left, reality hit me as i looked around and saw an open field., industrial malls,factory's and a busy road that at one time was deep in trees and dirt and steeped in nostalgia. Why did we stop going to the fort? I guess we thought we outgrew it, but now i am not so sure.

Photos of the remains including some of the tin and rocks used for the structure are on the previous blog.

Smiles from Above

2009-06-10T20:47:00.001-04:00

Sometimes it seems that the mind can play tricks on you, or does it?
Baseball has been a big sport in my Dad's family as far back as i can trace. My Great-Grandfather, my Grandfather, my Father and his brother all played at one level or another. My brother myself and 4 of my cousins all played at the amateur level and reached the highest levels possible.My Younger Sister still plays on a regular basis as does her daughter, and the next generation now plays as well as my Grandson and one of my granddaughters play the game and enjoy it. And here is where i am leading up to.The sky was a little overcast as Ben and Monica's game began, and as i watched the game i lay in the grass and looked into the clouds and for a brief minute could have sworn that the clouds formed the faces of my Great-Grandfather, Grandfather and my Dad and they were smiling to see another generation of ball players in the family. After Ben singled in a run i looked again but the clouds were gone and the game went on.
Were they really looking down or was my imagination wanting them too? It really doesn't matter because i know in my heart they were there.

When i Was a Teen

2009-06-08T23:39:00.001-04:00

When i was a teenager growing up in this town words had a slightly different meaning:

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a television show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spiders home
A virus was what you caught
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long drive with my family
A mouse pad was where the mice lived

And if you had a 3 inch floppy, you just hoped nobody ever found out!

My how times have changed!

What i hated as a kid, i still hate today.

2009-06-02T23:24:00.000-04:00

The following list is a compilation of things i hated as a kid and i still hate today.

Being Nagged
Cleaning my room and making my bed
Just getting started on a trip and having to go pee
My Mom yelling at me, now she just does it by phone.
Brussels Sprouts
The voices in my head telling me I'm a goat
Getting dressed up
Still not old enough to 'Know it all"
First my Mom and now my wife won't let me run with scissors
Being spanked because i am a bad boy.,.wait..sorry wrong list for that one.

That is just a few of the things i hated then and now.

You've lost that loving feeling

2009-05-29T12:32:00.000-04:00

The radio on my boyhood dresser was an old tabletop model with tubes. The top was cracked and at high volume, the busted brown plastic made it screech. My father got it when a great-aunt died i think, and it looked like the type of thing you would get at a junkyard. It was the greatest treasure he ever gave me. For with that radio he opened a new world that was hard to forget. As a ten year old the sounds that came out of that cracked jewel on my dresser changed my world. The Everly brothers, the Righteous Brothers, Simon and Garfunkle,Marvin Gaye came pouring out of that box like Angels from heaven. I had discovered music that my parents did not listen to. Sure my older brother and sister played their records and listened to their radios, BUT, THIS WAS MY RADIO,and no one was going to tell me what to listen to anymore. Elvis was the other generation and when i heard She Loves You by the Beatles and the first scream by my Dad and Mom to TURN IT DOWN i knew i had found my calling. Music,MY MUSIC, would be my salvation, it would set me free and make me different from my big brother and sister,it would allow me to define myself and create a world that i could call my own. It was CHUM,CHAM,CKWR,CFTR, all radio stations playing MY music. The Beatles, the Monkees, Neil Diamond, songs like Louie Louie, Gloria, Satisfaction,Go all the way and Moondance would be my break from reality. I could drift away in a Rock and Roll Lullabye. And as the '60s morphed into the '70s, music defined my teenage years. Pink Floyd,Led Zeepelin and Rush may have replaced the Doors, the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkle, but that radio, even though long gone,still held in my soul a very special place. Now in 2006 and i am listening to my CD's on my surround sound system, i still think back to that night when i first turned on that radio in 1967 and the strange noise began to emerge from that box. The voice sounded so sad,the sound so rich, the melody's so tight i was dumstruck by it all"You've lost that loving feelin". I can tell you i have never lost that loving feeling for the world of music. All thanks to my Father and that old cracked music box. Somewhere out in the stratosphere and the cosmos an old radio is playing"bring it on back,baby please, brink back that loving feeling"

Swinging Babes of my younger day's

2009-05-27T11:42:00.001-04:00

One thing that no man can agree on is what makes a woman hot. some like
legs, some like figure and some like personalities. No guy can agree on
anything, what i am putting forth here,is my list of the ten
swinginest woman of my youth. They all have a little something
different and some may not be what turns others on but, it's my list so
here it goes.

10.Marilyn Monroe--The ultimate pin up girl

9.Ann Margaret--oozed sexuality

8.Raquel Welch--Nobody could beat her in a bathing suit

7.Bridgett Bardot--Even Elton John thought she was sexy

6.Ursula Andress--Or as we used to call her Ursula Undressed

5.Aretha Franklin--Made big woman and gospel sexy

4.Barbara Eden.--rubbed many a bottle trying to find one like her

3.Nancy Sinatra--Those boots could have walked all over me

2. Goldie Hawn--Sock it to me, baby

1.Elizabeth Montgomery--Man did she make witchcraft sizzle.

So there you have it, now let the debates begin.

A Cooper Street Relic's 85th Birthday Video

2009-05-26T02:37:00.005-04:00

Some old relics

2009-05-25T00:46:00.001-04:00

This is a picture of my Mother, my brother and my two sisters. It was taken on may 24th on the occasion of my Mom's 85th birthday. We are truly relics!

Doing it Right[A Hespeler Video]

2009-05-24T23:40:00.000-04:00

Just something i threw together for the Residents of Hespeler

{Sort of} A Ghost Story

2009-05-21T15:08:00.001-04:00

I
grew up in a big old house in Hespeler, that to me was haunted. And
this is one of those story’s that could have been a great Ghost
Story, but since that would spoil the ending i will start a the
beginning.

It was a warm spring Sunday evening in 1967 and i had just finished
watching my Television programs in the living room with my family,
Gentle Ben,Ed Sullivan and Bonanza were the programs of choice. Off to
bed i went for a relaxing sleep, or so i thought. At around 3 am i
awoke to take a whizz when i caught out of the corner of my eye the
rocking chair under the window in my room was moving and a white clad
figure was occupying the chair. Frozen in bed and now unable to pee i
pulled up the sheets on my bed over my head and shivered, hoping that
the ghost would leave soon. No such luck. Every 1/2 hour it seemed i
checked and that ghost was still there and rocking the chair back and
forth. Unable to scream or even mouth “HELP” i waited for
morning and eventually dozed off thankfully.
As dawn arrived and i
opened my eyes my fear of the ghost turned to embarrassment and then
shame at what i had gone through the night before.

You see, what had happened was this. Being that it was a warm evening
my Mother had opened the bedroom window before laying a freshly cleaned
white bed sheet over the rocking chair, that just happened to have an
arched back, that created a head like shape. That and the wind nicely
blowing in the window kept the chair moving and the newly dried sheet
flowing. So it was not a ghost at all and i made it clear to my Mother
that she should never do that again. Her only comment on the
situation…how did you hold your pee so long? And now that i
think about it..how did i? Amazing the things you can do at 10 years
old.

A Bad Family Reunion

2009-05-18T23:41:00.001-04:00

With summer almost upon us it means one thing...Family get togethers.

Here are some signs that your family is perhaps a little dysfunctional.

Breakfast nook is now a Meth lab

Your vacations are now booked through AA instead of AAA

Your mom and sister are fighting again...over the last beer

During the family Reunion the FBI cut all power to your home

Hells Angels next door call the police to complain about you

Your son tells you he doesn't want to be your cell mate next time

You buy 4 mothers day cards, one for each of her personalities

Family Motto: Put the Gun Down

Instead of saying grace, Grandpa reads from the Penthouse Forum

No Roasted Turkey instead all you have is Wild Turkey

New government legislation to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family.

If you recognize any of these you may be dysfunctional.

Butterflys and Headstones

2009-05-13T17:44:00.001-04:00

Sometimes things appear that make you think. My Mother and i spent a
little time today at the family grave plot and while planting some new
flowers at the sites of my Grandparents, my Aunt and Uncle and my
Father i watched in amazement as 4 monarch butterfly's appeared out of
nowhere and began to flutter around the graves. Eventually 3 of the
butterfly's settled on the gravestones of Dad, Grandma and grandpa and
my Aunt and Uncle while the 4th set down on my Mothers shoulder and
seemed to sit there forever. When my mother stood up after saying her
prayer the butterfly's started to stir and fly in a circle around her,
and followed us to the car where they turned around and went back to
the grave area. And as we drove away the butterfly's were all sitting
on the headstones again fluttering their wings.
The beauty of the butterfly. The spirits could not have chosen a more fitting way to appear.

Scissors, turtles and Davinci

2009-05-13T02:06:00.000-04:00

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors

Confucius say: Man who lives in glass houses should change in basement

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers--Mahatma Gandhi

I have one question about the Kyoto accord, how many miles per gallon does it get.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised Mother in Law

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies--Oscar Wilde

The snickers bar is now the best selling candy bar in the world

Golf is a good walk spoiled--Mark Twain

Mister dressup beats mister rogers any day

Sometimes i wonder if Angela Jolie wonders what i am wearing
Red haired men go bald sooner than any others
There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse every day

I nearly ran over a turtle today, i hate when they run out in traffic like that
Josef Stalin is buried in a Communist plot
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress, but i repeat myself.

And remember the Founder of the Marlboro cigarette company died of Lung Cancer.

Jack Courtney- Super agent

2009-05-04T22:24:00.000-04:00

My how times have changed. I had to renew my car insurance, and decided to check around for quotes. What a shock i was in for. On-line quotes have replaced the personal one on one, and when i did talk to someone they had no interest in anything but securing my business. Made me long for the old way of doing things, when you walked into an office and talked to somebody who knew you and loved to chat. Like when Jack Courtney was in business.
He was my very first insurance agent, and walking into his little cramped office on Queen Street was always a pleasure. He knew his customers well and knew the history of your family also. He always had a story to tell and wanted to know the latest jokes that you could tell him. And as always his spittoon was sitting close by for his chewing tobacco to be spit in, and on one occasion he asked if i wanted to try to hit the spittoon, needless to say i declined. His interest in his clients went as far as looking at the vehicle and finding out what he was insuring and not just taking the money and running. I never had to file a claim with him, so i don't know how he was at that but i feel it was as comfortable as getting the insurance in the first place.
I miss customer service like that.

Some Friday Afternoon Timewasters

2009-05-01T13:37:00.001-04:00

If i were two faced would i be wearing this one--Abe Lincoln
I have found the perfect bedtime story's to put my grandchildren to sleep, recycled "according to Jim" Television show scripts.
Iguanas,Koalas and Komodo Dragons all have 3 penis's.

I need tacos or i will explode.I do that sometimes.
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.
Good looking people turn me off, myself included---Patrik Swaze

God never gives us more than we can handle,luckily a local restaurant has a big boy all you can eat buffet.
Al Capone's business card stated that he was a used furniture dealer.
The only difference between Republicans and Democrats is that the Democrats allow poor people to be corrupt as well.

Actually you can beat City Hall. All you need is a bulldozer and a wrecking ball.
If you are feeling good don't worry, you will get over it.
Reality is a nice place to visit but i really would not want to live there.

If you can't beat 'em arrange to have them beating.
Slurm=The slime that exists under the soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
A friend is someone who has the same enemy's as you.

And in closing remember
Woman are trouble and we Men are trouble seekers.

More forgotten oldies

2009-05-01T02:41:00.001-04:00

Quicksilver Messenger Service - Fresh Air

[via FoxyTunes / Quicksilver Messenger Service]

One of the great 60's era bands that seem to have been lost by the so called Classic Rock stations

What my Mother Taught me

2009-04-29T02:50:00.000-04:00

Mothers are a strange breed indeed. They love us,they nurture us and they never let us forget it. Here are some things that my mother taught me

She taught me about death and cleanliness:
"If you're going to kill each other do it outside, i just finished cleaning"

She taught me religion:
"You had better pray that spill will come out of the carpet"

She taught me logic:
"Because i said so, that's why"

She taught me Contortionism:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck"

She taught me stamina:
"You will sit there until that spinach is finished"

She taught me about the circle of life:
""I brought you into this world, i can take you out"

She taught me about behavior modification:
"Stop acting like your father"

I owe a lot to my Mother, and i am sure so do you!

Monday Day Waste

2009-04-27T00:47:00.000-04:00

Just sitting around and something came to me. Somethings the average guy never say's. So here are 10 things you will probably never hear me say.

Hey Bud! Is my ass too big?

Here Honey you use the remote

You know that stripper was cute, but, her breasts are too big

Ooh! Antonio Bandderis and Brad Pitt: That is one movie I have to go see

While I'm up can I get you anything?

Sex Isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held

Awww, forget the Leaf game, Let's watch DR. Phil

Hey! Let me hold your purse while you try that dress on

How come we don't go dancing anymore

Beer! No thanks just give me a Pepsi

Blast from the Past.

2009-04-23T01:32:00.001-04:00

(Sitting on a) Poor Man's Throne-Copperpenny

[via FoxyTunes / Copperpenny]

I remember seeing these guys at the Coronet. Wonder where they are now?

My Human gives me the blues

2009-04-20T19:00:00.000-04:00

First let me introduce myself, my name is Sir Duke and i am a dog, a Shed Tzu to be exact and while i am waiting for one of my humans to come home from work i thought i would tell you a story. Now you may be wondering how i am writing this, well we dog's are not as stupid as some people think, i mean after all you humans do feed us and walk us when we need it and what is it with that baby talk,brrr that is scary. I am sitting here just waiting, i have rearranged the furniture twice and put it back, just slightly off so the humans will think they are seeing things. When i go for a walk it is a strange experience every time ,i mean there is always something new to see and smell. oh and pee on. I enjoy making the male human wait for me while i find the right place for a dump, and i always make sure it is far enough away from him so he has to walk to stoop and scoop. Chasing the ducks and geese on the water is fun, but i will let you in on a secret.they know i am coming and we play this game to just amuse you humans. And when another dog shows up we get to smell each other, at least that is what you think we are doing, in reality we are getting messages from the mothership,ahh got cha, no really we do like to smell each others butts, believe you me they are better smelling than my male humans gas in the morning after he has been out drinking the night before, ugggh. And do you wonder what we are doing digging holes? They are, no i think that is one secret i had better not tell. And of course the jumping up and down and seemingly happy to see you routine, well that is usually a distraction so the other dog's that are partying with us have a chance to slip out the window with out being seen. Now about naming us, how bad or hard is it to come up with real good names like stryker, the barkman,louscious,joaguin. No we get names like barky,lucky,ralph,scooter good god humans use your imagination i mean just look at my name, Sir Duke ,what the hell were they thinking, or smoking for that matter, i guess it could have been worse they could have called me poochie. By the way my dog only name is Star wanderer, that's right we have names that only other dogs know and our woofing as you hear it is really an advanced form of communication. If one of those two humans don't get home soon though i may have to leave a little present in the living room for them. Oh i hear the key in the door so i had better put this cigarette out finish this beer and get ready to drag him out into this cold and rain, and do you know what i am going to do? After dumping and peeing i am going to pretend to hurt my paw and make him carry me home, yuk yuk. O.K. i am going so i will talk to you all again when i have more storys to tell. Chow all.

Why i do this

2009-04-16T02:47:00.002-04:00

To my Dad a good joke or story was as important to life as food or drink. He loved to tell story’s and to have a good time, and he had many a good time. Many people say i have a warped sense of humor and can pull a story out of anything, but in comparison to my old man i am just a novice. I saw him laugh at a John Wayne movie, i saw him bust a gut watching Harvey Korman and Tim Conway perform a routine on the Carol Burnett show. He could repeat jokes from the likes of Lenny Bruce to Richard Pryor and to him humor had no boundaries.
And the story’s and thoughts he would come out with were classics, but to me they were as new as the rain or snow that fell outside. Sure they were probably stolen from someone else or from a book he had read but the way he told them made them his. I have learned many one liners, jokes, groaners and weird thoughts on life from my Dad and while they are not always funny to everyone, they are at least interesting and would leave his party guests snickering under their breath. But is that not what life is about? Keeping your friends and acquaintances laughing and thinking all at the same time? Even as he was dying he kept a sense of humor, he pulled me over to his side and indicated that he needed to say something to me and as i got closer to his mouth he whispered” get off my air hose you arsehole”. I could only laugh and i am sure my family thought i was nuts, but i know that everytime i write a story or post a stream of weird thoughts he is laughing and telling anybody that is near him up above ” I taught him everything he knows, and he still doesn’t know anything”

My Jukebox

2009-04-15T00:30:00.000-04:00

Rush - Fly By Night

[via FoxyTunes / Rush]

Some people consider Rush to be Canada's greatest Rock band.

Old Hits for new Times

2009-04-12T05:50:00.000-04:00

Some of the artists of the 60's are
revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging
baby boomers.

They include:

Bobby
Darin ---
Splish, Splash,
I Was Havin' a Flash.

Herman's
Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown,
You've Got a Lovely Walker .

Ringo
Starr ---
I Get By With a
Little Help From Depends.

The Bee
Gees -- -
How Can You
Mend a Broken Hip.

Roberta
Flack---
The First Time
Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny
Nash ---
I Can't
See Clearly Now.

Paul
Simon---
Fifty Ways to
Lose Your Liver.

The
Commodores ---
Once, Twice,
Three
Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin
Gaye ---
Heard It
Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol
Harem---
A Whiter Shade
of Hair.

Leo
Sayer ---
You Make Me
Feel Like Napping.

The
Temptations ---
Papa's Got a
Kidney Stone.

Abba---

Denture
Queen.

Tony
Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times
On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen
Reddy --- I Am
Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

And Last but NOT least:

Willie
Nelson --- On the Commode
Again
.

Interesting stuff i think.

When Downtown was the place

2009-04-09T02:57:00.001-04:00

This is from the glory years of the Hespeler Downtown. Many different types of stores, from a bookstore to coffee shops to a 5 and dime store, clothing stores. We had it all, where did it go. I guess the advent of the malls did destroy the downtowns.

Give me back my Klacker

2009-04-06T02:06:00.001-04:00

In the spring of 1968 i fell in love. Not with a girl or a dog but with a toy. The KLACKER to be precise. What is a klacker you ask, well let me tell you, it was a magnificent piece of weaponry, 2 acrylic balls attached to a sturdy workman like piece of string that when banged together could drive a parent crazy, and i had to just have one. A light blue transparent one at that.
Some scrawny kid like me could own one of these, jump over a 6 foot high fence and smoke the local bully. Yeah, that was going to be me. Jack, the neighborhood tough guy wouldn’t get the best of me anymore. That psychopathic grin would get wiped off his face really quick and than i would dance over his fallen body like David over Goliath, oh yeah, that 11 year old 130 lb walking jelly bowl was going down. Or so i thought. As i gathered my nerve and as my friends waited timidly around the corner i approached the lug and started to stare him down, he didn’t flinch, i approached a little bit more slinging my klackers like like a gunslinger in the old west and then it happened, he pulled a giant slingshot out of his overalls and started to fire spitballs at me. One by one they stung me and drove me back to cover behind the closest garbage pail and there i waited for the cavalry to arrive but realized that the Cavalry had run for cover as well and vanished into the school and the safety of the Nuns leaving me alone to face Jack one on one. It seemed like i was there for over an hour[probably just about a minute] when i got my courage up, got the klackers swinging good and rose,ready to face my final moments, i came flying out from behind that garbage can and ran smack into the body of Sister Aloysius, all 6 feet and 150 lbs of her. I went down like a rock ,my klackers flying out of my hands and landing at her feet, her evil grin even made the bully Jack cringe, and she had me at her mercy, and Jack was standing behind her grinning that psychopathic grin of his. I was doomed.
I wound up with a detention and had my Klackers taken away for 3 days, a punishment that seemed worse than death, and while i eventually got over that moment, the tension between Jack and i never cleared up but we stayed away from each other from then on. For me A moral victory and 3 day’s later i got my klackers back. All was well again.
And i wonder, did anybody ever get Jack? Did they get away or did Jack get revenge? And i wonder where Jack went? Is he living now on a chain gang in Alabama somewhere breaking rocks with his fists and dancing with a good ole boy named Bubba? One can only dream.

Playfair Bowl

2009-04-02T00:40:00.001-04:00

Man i miss having a bowling alley in town. I remember Wednesday nights my dad would go bowling and on Thursday morning there was always a chocolate bar on the table for us kids.

The forgotten Music. First of many

2009-03-31T01:35:00.002-04:00

David Ackles - Road to Cairo

[via FoxyTunes / David Ackles]

This is from one of the great American Singer/songwriters of the late 60's early 70's. David Ackles is unknown today but those who do know of his music he is still revered. His early 70's album American Gothic is considered a classic and while it may be hard to find it is well worth the search. David Ackles died in 1999.

The Great Hespeler Moped Crash of 1973

2009-03-24T00:34:00.001-04:00

While out walking the dog the other day i watched a kid wipe out on his dirt bike and that reminded me of an incident from my past. It was July of 1973 when the Great Hespeler Moped crash occurred. I was 15 going on 16 and as such did not have a drivers license, so my parents gave me the next best thing, they bought me a Moped for my upcoming birthday. Not that they really had a choice as 5 of my friends already had one or were getting one for the summer ahead,so on a mid June day they presented me with a fire engine red Moped, and that was the beginning of the summer of driving. I went everywhere on that thing. to Kitchener,Guelph and points in between. Hell even some of the girls loved them and that made us even more popular[not a bad side effect, Eh!]. But as in anything that Teenagers set their minds to we got more adventurous on the bikes and soon we were able to do wheelie’s like the big boy’s, we even named ourselves “Hespeler’s Rejects”, not a good name i admit but hey, we were Teenagers after all. So all of June and July we terrorized the streets of Hespeler, and even the local constabulary, “Flashlight Freddie” could not stop us, of course i don’t think he really tried that hard. And then July 26th came into play.
It was one of those warm summer rain kind of day’s, not hard enough to stop your fun but still damp enough for the average person to be careful while out on the road. And there was the problem, thought did not enter the equation. So off the 6 of us went that day driving down the hills and valleys of Hespeler without a care in the world and then Edward street appeared on the horizon and the challenge was made. I don’t know who made the call but it was there, drive as fast as we can down one of the steepest streets in town toward the valley and may the best man win. Everything was going good, i sat in a close third when suddenly just before the bottom of the hill someone went down and the rest of us followed. By the time we finished tumbling and sliding there were 6 mopeds and 6 bodies lying on Edward street, scuffed, bruised and bloody but we all managed to pull ourselves together, get our Mopeds off the street and survey the damage. There were no broken bones or even seriously damaged mopeds, somehow we had all survived the crash. As we sat at the side of the road we all just suddenly started laughing and realized what a funny sight we must of made, six bodies and bikes rolling and sliding down Edward Street. Needless to say that was the end of day for all of us as we slinked off to lick our wounds and get ready for another day. As for the rest of the summer, well let’s just say we rode a little more carefully…Ah who am i kidding, we did not learn our lesson and continued to drive them as recklessly as ever.
As for the mopeds, well they lasted one more year as many of us got our drivers licenses and moved on to bigger and better things, but probably still drove a little crazy. And that my friends is the story of the Great Hespeler Moped Crash of 1973….Drive safe everyone!

Spring Walk

2009-03-17T01:08:00.001-04:00

On a beautiful spring-like day, what else do you do but walk and enjoy the countryside that exists just outside of this town.

Springs Coming

2009-03-16T02:00:00.000-04:00

Alright so it is already here, but now the weather is getting better and it feels like spring. Anyway here are some more mindless sputtering s from Cooper street.

Sometimes i wonder, does Angela Jolie wonder what i am wearing?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry!
People say i am psycho like it's a bad thing!

A lot has been said of politicians, some of it complimentary but most of it accurate.
What's it mean being a man:Making mistakes and not caring!
If at first you don't succeed have a scapegoat handy!

I may have never left my heart in San Fransisco, but i did leave some toe nail clippings at the Toronto bus depot.
"I am not an egomaniac, but i am the worlds best dancer"---Micheal Flatly
2 out of 3 North Americans men will develop hemorrhoids.

TEIAM, there problem solved!
9 out of 10 guy's prefer woman with big breasts, the 10th guy prefers the other 9 men
I wonder if General Custer wore shirts by the Arrow Company?

I can't remember the last time i did any serious running, but i have been jogging my memory.
Without evil, there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometimes
There are no stupid answers, just stupid people.

Enjoy the weather and i will talk to ya later!

A lovely Day for a Parade

2009-03-13T02:34:00.002-04:00

This is a picture from around 1967, it is from the Hespeler textile Festival Parade that year. That is my younger Sister and myself on the Fire department float. My Father was on the department at the time. Those were good day's in the Village.

Questions of a Thousand Years

2009-03-12T00:32:00.000-04:00

Just some questions that are out there.

If someone owns a piece of land do they own it to the center of the Earth?
If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?
If humans evolved from monkeys why are they still here?
Do penguins have knees?
Why do we say the alarm clock went off when it really comes on?
Why do we put our two cents in when it is only a penny for our thoughts?
Why do people return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new has materialised?
Why does the Easter Bunny carry eggs?Rabbits don't lay eggs!
Why when people ask what are the 3 things you would bring with you on a desert island, nobody says a Boat?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
And Finally!
Have you ever met a gruntled employee?

My goldfish hates Me!

2009-03-10T23:27:00.000-04:00

If anyone disagrees with anything i say, i am prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny it under oath.
The dot above the i in the letter i is called a tittle
If i had a nickel for every paycheck I've blown on booze and wild woman, i could probably spend a whole weekend doing nothing but...well, you know where this is headed.

Bugs outnumber humans 200 million to one
Canada borders on three oceans, Pacific,Atlantic and Arctic
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it....Frank Zappa

Whenever i feel blue, i just start breathing again
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
If we are not supposed to eat animals how come they are made out of meat.

Why must all good things end while mediocre things last forever
I am so happy today,i found my friends, they are in my head...Kurt Cobain
The word Gullible is not in the English dictionary

In a family of psychotics, it is a relief to be the insomniac
The all time most nominated Grammy artist is Quincy Jones with 77
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot

What doesn't kill me doesn't make me stronger, it just pisses me off more.
While staring at my goldfish and making fun of him stuck in a little bowl, i imagined him making fun of me in this weird world, so i flushed him down the toilet, that will teach him.
The Oreo is the worlds best selling cookie.

And in closing, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, of course sometimes it is attached to a Freight train.

Hespeler Rednecks?

2009-03-06T00:06:00.001-05:00

Proof that Rednecks can be found everywhere.
My Brother,myself and my two sisters. From 1965. Wonder what the rest of Cooper Street thought?

The Original Wedding Crasher

2009-03-02T03:16:00.000-05:00

Recently my wife made me watch a wretched little movie called "The Wedding Crashers" and it got me to thinking about an old Friend of mine from Hespeler who in my mind was the original "Wedding Crasher". Let me tell you the story.
Paul was an original, definitely playing in a different world with a different set of rules. He was wild, funny and completely off his rocker but that is why we all loved the guy. But the one thing he kept telling us was how he could get into any event like Weddings, family reunions etc. We never believed him, but hey if he told the story while we were sitting around having a few beers and what nots, that was good enough for us. But one day we got the chance to see him in action, and what a smoothie he was.
It was late summer[1977 I believe] and a bunch of us were at our local lake having a swim and enjoying ourselves, when low and behold we came across a family obviously in the midst of a get together and that is when Paul went to work. He walked around the outside of the get together so people would notice him and he paid attention to what was being said about who was there and who was not there and then he found out what he needed and he struck.
Some of the family did not show up including a Aunt and her family that many in the group had never seen or had not seen for years and Paul was in like Flint. He spent the next 2 hrs eating and drinking with this group who had no idea he was not who he said he was, he played a little volleyball and lawn darts while we all watched from a safe distance, laughing and just waiting for him to get caught, It never happened. Paul finally left the party and came over to join us and tell us how he did it. It seems that the Aunt that did not show up had re-married and had a son from her second husband that no one knew and Paul just assumed his identity. And it worked perfectly, no one suspected a thing he said and the beer and food were great and he even got a phone number from one of the cousins[whether he called her or not we don't know], and as we left the beach that night we just marvelled at the gut's he had and we finally knew his story's were true.
As for Paul unfortunately he passed away in September of 1979. But i would like to think that somehow he snuck into heaven and God still has not caught him!

Where is my Igloo?

2009-02-25T02:20:00.000-05:00

Talking to an American the other night made me realise that we are still misunderstood on the world scene. This gentleman was intelligent but had no real knowledge of Canada. So in searching the web, here are 10 myths about Canada that are still out there.

10.All our Policeman are Mounties......that is what this guy thought.

9.Our national sport is hockey...All right so a lot of Canadians think this too, It is actually Lacrosse.

8.Canadians do not own guns...Actually, per capita we have as many guns, if not more than the United States, we just do not use them as much.

7.We all speak French...well I don't know about you, but, Merci is about all I know.

6.All Canadians say EH and Aboot...And all southerners say y'all[that ended that topic]

5.Canada has no film Industry....The list of Canadian Movies is very impressive[I will do a separate story on that]

4.We don't get the same entertainment options as Americans....every movie and television show is released in Canada at the same time as America, and all the music groups tour here at the same time .

3.There is snow almost all year long.....It may seem that to us.It still amazes me that this one is still out there.

2.Canada has Polar Bears everywhere...This guy wanted to know where the viewing site was.

1.WE LIVE IN IGLOOS.....Really! I wonder if mine has central heating.

The Church's

2009-02-24T02:24:00.001-05:00

Overlooking the Speed River and Spring Street. The three churches that are at the corner of Queen Street and Cooper Street.

More from the juke box

2009-02-19T12:29:00.001-05:00

Ian Dury and the Blockheads - Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll

[via FoxyTunes / Ian Dury]

One of my favorite punk/pop stars of the 70's. His whole catalog is worth a listen.

Between Woodstock and Reagan{Here among the Cats}

2009-02-18T12:44:00.000-05:00

While sitting in a little local bar last night with a few friends listening to a real crappy karaoke version of "Smoke on the Water" we began to reminisce about the bars and bands that used to play in the region. While the bars are now gone, to be replaced by little corner pubs and assorted other things the music is still there. Today try to find a top notch rock band in their prime or an incredible top flight show band that even comes close to the area, it is not going to happen.
The Matador Tavern,Leisure Lodge,Coronet,Highlands/Tudor Tavern,Waterloo Motor Inn and if you were in the Muskokas the Kee to Bala[the only one still going]. The bands that traveled through here are legendary now,some still touring and others relegated to the back pages of our minds.
Longneck quartz bottles at the Tudor, fancy show bands at the Matador, the funniest waiter I have ever encountered at the Leisure Lodge,trying to find our way home in a drunken stupor from the Coronet and crawling out of Lake Muskoka to see a live Saturday night show at the Kee.
Myles and Lenny
Zon
Prism--a unknown band called the cars opened for them
A foot in cold water
Moxy
Major Hooples Boarding House
McLean and McLean
Jack the Bear
Jason--Steve Smith introduced his "Red Green " character in this show band
Triumph--Rik Emmett once threatened to beat me up at the Tudor
Max Webster
Rush
Fludd
April Wine
The madcats
Doucette--he may have had only one song, but what a song
Mashmakan
Copper Penny
Goddo.............These were just some of the acts that played these bars. Kind of beats a drunk woman singing a Janis Joplin tune now don't it. Well I think Iwill go put on a Max Webster album and chill. Till next time,RAP IS CRAP

Hespeler Hockey Hero's[Pt. 2}

2009-02-17T01:23:00.000-05:00

Paul Woods of the Detroit Redwings.

Paybacks a bitch or how a Hespeler Dad gets his revenge!

2009-02-15T22:25:00.000-05:00

The old saying is of course Payback is a bitch and in this story it is dead on, so let me tell you.
Like all teenagers i managed to steal some beer and liquor off my dad on weekends, i mean who didn't. The thing was he never really said a word about and i was able to do it for a number of years and never thought of the consequences until years later. I had recently separated from my wife and had moved back to my Parents home to re-group and try to start all over and my father got his revenge. One Saturday i had picked up a 24 of Heineken and put it in my basement refrigerator and went out to do some things and about 3 hours later returned home and went to grab a beer, well guess what? Yep, most were gone, now i was used to my Dad grabbing one or two but 20? It seems a couple of his buddies had come over and my Dad had only 2 of his beer left so he felt now was the time to raid my fridge and raid it they did, leaving me with 4 and a trip to the beer store to replenish my stock[this was before Sunday beer store hours] for the weekend. When i returned I looked at my Dad and the grin on his face said it all...This is how a Hespeler Dad get's his revenge!

Scout house repairs

2009-02-05T12:00:00.002-05:00

Record staff

CAMBRIDGE

The
Hespeler Scout House meeting hall is in line for $5,000 in repairs this
year, even as city staff plan to replace it. The money almost doubles
the annual city budget to run the small meeting hall in Forbes Park,
which city staff hope to replace with a bigger community centre in
north Hespeler in 2015. The city has set aside $2.2 million in the
capital budget that year for the project. A location hasn't been chosen.

Nice to see that old building being fixed up but even nicer when the do build a new center. That is definitely something we need in Hespeler

The Sunny Side Of life

2009-02-05T00:19:00.002-05:00

Life is a struggle. The economy sucks,every day you go to work,put up with crap,fight traffic to get home,find out there is something that needs to be fixed at home,check your hydro bill,your cable bill,your Gas bill,your car insurance bill, your tax bill and then you realise you are out of beer. To hell with it you say. Well relax and let's look at the sunny side of life, the little things that make the world a better place.
Watching your kids grow up and taking their first steps, saying their first words. Walking with your Wife and the dog and relaxing by the waterfalls that we have in Cambridge. Sitting in the backyard, the BBQ cooking the steaks, a cold beer in your hands and good friends and family with you. Being able to communicate with your family anytime you feel like it. Watching the snow fall or viewing a thunder and lightning storm. Smelling the warm spring rain. Watching a hockey game. Coming home and knowing your Wife understands your moods. Smelling the laundry when it first comes out of the dryer. Sitting in the stands at a ballgame soaking up the sun. going thru old pictures and remembering the good old day's. Running into a long lost friend and releiazing he has aged more than you. Finnaly finishing painting the room you have always left un-painted. Watching an old Bogart movie. Having your Grandkids giving you a hug for no other reason than you are you. Being able to see your grand-children grow up. Knowing that your kids are going to be allright. Finding a $10 bill in last summers shorts. Fitting into last summers shorts. Knowing that canada is still the worlds best place to live. Watching wildlife in it's natural habitat. Seeing the sunrise and watching a sunset that knocks your socks off. Knowing that you have put in a good day's work and lived your life the best you can.
See! It is not all bad, there are many good things about your world so enjoy them ll and feel free to add your own. AWEN my friends AWEN

Wild oats and Shredded Wheat

2009-02-04T13:29:00.000-05:00

Never raise your hands to your kids:It leaves your groin unprotected
The inventor of Vaseline ate a spoonful of the stuff every morning.
"I really didn't say everything i said"---Yogi Berra

"Ive had a perfectly good evening, but this wasn't it"--Groucho Marx
Expressholes=People who try to sneak more than the eight items or less into the express lane
I believe in luck, how else do you explain the success of those i don't like

Mike Tyson's guide to dating etiquette--a book that will never be written
My wild oats have turned to shredded wheat
I have a photographic memory,unfortunately i am out of film

The invisible man married the invisible woman, their kids ain't much to look at either
Why don't more people wear capes?
4 billion years of evolution and i still can't stop drooling on myself.

"I think woman should be armed but not allowed to vote"--Ann Coulter 2001
A bad web address, PEN ISLAND---http://www.penisland.net
"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make rush hour even longer"---GOD

I don't trust my stockbroker, he is married to a travel agent
There is nothing like the love of a good woman, but the love of a bad woman is not too shabby either.
My friends say i live in my own little world, but that's okay, everyone likes me there

And in parting remember--if the shoe fits, it's probably expensive

What became of?

2009-02-03T03:12:00.000-05:00

The Milkman

Trading stamps

Gee!Your hair smells terrific shampoo

Anacin

Geritol

White Rain hairspray

Accent meat tenderizer

Quisp cereal

Frankenberry cereal

Dyna Mints

Licorice records

ronco record cleaning machine

Nestle's Treasures chocolate bar

Rum and Butter Chocolate bars

Hai Karate cologne

Hi C Fruit juice

And family sitting around for warm drinks and cake!

February 3rd 1959

2009-02-03T01:49:00.001-05:00

Don mclean - American pie (live)

[via FoxyTunes / Don McLean]

The Day the music died. 50 years ago the plane carrying Ritchie Valens,The Big Bopper[J.P. Richardson] and Buddy Holly went down near Clear lake Iowa.

The Hespeler way to Shovel your Driveway

2009-01-29T01:49:00.002-05:00

With another snowfall upon us, and more shoveling required i feel it is my
civic duty to explain the Hespeler way of snow-shoveling. This has been
handed down to me from my father who got it from his father who got
it..well you get the point. Now in this system of snow shoveling you
need some very important ingredients, so here they are.

Winter Boots..I use Sorel Caribou as they are lightweight and keep my feet warm.

Gloves..I use Isotoner Ultra Dry Hybrid Gloves. Again they are lightweight and they keep a nice fresh smell to them.

Headwear…North end make some very nice toques for Canadian Winters.

Coat….I wear a Far West Goretex coat in a bright red colour, which comes in handy if you happen to fall in a snowbank.

Beer[6 bottles]..This one is very important, and so i recommend a good
sturdy Canadian Brew, i myself use Creemore Springs. Good flavour and
robust body.[ endorsement cheques can be sent to me care of the
Cambridge Voice]

Okay now that you have assembled all the necessary ingredients, here is what you do.

Get your gear on and make sure everything is comfy. Take your 6 Beers
and put them strategically around your driveway. 2 on both sides of the
road area of your driveway,2 on both sides of the driveway, halfway up
and 2 more at the beginning of your driveway close to your door. You
then survey your area, break the driveway down into squares that will
lead you to each beer in orderly fashion. You can now begin shoveling
in each square, rewarding yourself with a beer each time a square is
finished. And by the time you get to the last beer, your driveway is
done and you feel pride in a good job well done, as well as having nice
little buzz going which will help you if you plan to sit down and watch
the Toronto Maple leafs on TV after finishing the driveway. Your
Welcome. Of course the other way to do it is to sit in the house
drinking the 6 beers while your Son-in-law brings his snowblower over
and does your driveway.[thanks Alan..burb]

And that is the Hespeler way of shoveling your driveway.

Swinging 60 chicks

2009-01-27T17:26:00.000-05:00

Where are the swinging sexy babes of my youth? Well they are a lot older now but i still remember them like it was yesterday. Here are the ten woman that made me go ohhh! All from that swinging time known as the 60's.

10. Ann Margaret--oozed sexuality
9. Marilyn Monroe--the ultimate pin up girl.
8. Raquel welch--no one looked as good as her in a bathing suit
7. Bridgett Bardot--Even Elton John thought she was sexy.
6. Goldie Hawn--she could have socked it too me anytime
5. Ursala Andress--or as we called her Ursala undressed
4. Aretha Franklin--She made bigger woman and Gospel music sexy
3. Barbara Eden--I rubbed many a bottle trying to find one as sexy as her.
2. Nancy Sinatra--Her boots could of walked all over me

1. Elizabeth Montgomery---Who didn't want to become bewitched by her?

Lindsay Lohan,Paris Hilton and the rest of you posers can eat your heart out. These were real woman!!!!!

Hockey Hero's

2009-01-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

"Red" Laurance, a hespeler hockey Hero. Many more to come

Another story from the Dodge Coronet

2009-01-20T19:34:00.001-05:00

As I said in a previous post, I owned a 1969 Dodge Coronet and had many good experience in it and this is one of the tales.

It was May of 1976 and the Rock Band KISS were coming to Toronto and as fans my friends and i had to go, and go we did. The show was fantastic and the availability of Alcohol and Marijuana made it even better, but the true story was the ride home. We took the Coronet because it was the biggest car in the group and since 5 of us were going it was a no brainer to take it. The problem started on the way home from Maple Leaf Gardens when the bowels started to kick in and the peeing sessions began. After 4 or 5 stops we decided to try to make it home without another stop to make last call at a bar in town so we began to hold it and pray. It did no good. As we hit the Petro station just outside of town all hell was going to break loose as all 5 of us had to pee and pee badly, so into the station we flew and the sight would make us laugh for many a year later.

As the car entered the exit to the station we were doing a little over the speed limit and we were all holding everything in but we could not wait until the car completely stopped so i slapped on the brakes, went into a skid, stopped the car at a weird angle and 5 guys fell out of the 2 doors and proceeded to Begin dispensing our fluids. The worst part we were right beside 2 OPP cruisers and who were staring at us in total disbelieve. After we were finished we got back into the car and slowly drove off with the Police just staring at what they had just seen.

Maybe you had to be there, but it was quite a scene and one that we will never forget.

My Juke Box

2009-01-18T02:53:00.001-05:00

Don't Go/Hothouse Flowers

[via FoxyTunes / Hothouse Flowers]

The first of many videos to come. My favourite songs from every generation. Enjoy. This is the Hothouse flowers and Don't Go.

Signs i am getting older[part 1]

2009-01-18T01:56:00.003-05:00

Now this is a definite sign that i am getting older. When i was younger Saturday night meant drinking and carousing. Now i may still once in a while do that but staying at home and making cookies with my granddaughter and drinking coffee is what i seem to do more.

Another Winters Day

2009-01-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

and we still have about 2 more months of this crap!

Guelph Ave 1900

2009-01-14T18:20:00.002-05:00

This is a now famous picture looking up Guelph Ave towards the fisher Mills area, it was taken around 1900. Notice the old Queens hotel that we now call Ernies still looks the same.

More crap that bugs me

2009-01-12T00:25:00.000-05:00

People that i run into at a movie or event and ask me "what are you doing here" simple idiot, i am either stalking you or doing my taxes, what the hell do you think.

New and Improved on packaging...what you were giving us crap before that, trust me i have tried the new and improved Special k and it sucks, nothing improved about that.

You can't have your cake and eat it too..want to bet? If i buy a cake i am damn well going to eat it.

Able -bodied people on welfare---put them to work and they can be just as incompetent as the rest of us, and they will feel better about it.

Donald Trump---I think he is Satan.

Can i ask you a Question?---you have started, you might as well finish

Anyone else have problems getting the wrappers off CD cases?-drives me nuts

People that point at their arms when asking for the time.

The sound of people eating

Cornball News Anchor names-Wolf Blitzer,Stone Phillips Willow Bay---please where is Harvey Kirk when you need him

Guys over 40 with ponytails, really. But not that guy up in the right hand corner.

What the Hell does that mean[chapter 1]

2009-01-06T21:19:00.000-05:00

Just some sayings that bug me.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush......Makes no sense two birds are better than one. Plus the one in my hand would probably crap in it.

A bitter pill....Anytime I am sick a pill is not bitter to me

A chip off the old block.....A chip off of anything and my wife makes me throw it out.

A diamond in the rough....I don't care where you find a diamond it's all worth the same.

A feather in his cap....o.k., if any guy in my neighborhood growing up put a feather in his cap we would have beat him up.

The hair of the dog...This one has never made sense to me. Iknow what it means but really, this and A dogs breakfast, totally stupid.

A happy camper...Any time I can get camping is a happy time, I don't know any unhappy campers.

A Mexican standoff....Is it different than a Swedish standoff, and what do they call it in Mexico? A Washington standoff?

Ain't just whistling Dixie.....Don't get it and don't care about this one

Apple of my eye....I don't like apples that much and apples go bad real quick after you peel them

Bump in the night....Bump in the day is just as bad I think...

That is all for now, there are plenty more and when I have time I will post some that really bug me.

New Years Ramblings

2009-01-05T23:52:00.001-05:00

Bees have 3 eye lids
"BOB" was the first hurricane named after a male in 1979
I owe a lot to my parents--especially my mom and dad

My mind works like lightning- one brilliant flash and then it's gone
There are 2 types of pedestrians..the quick and the dead
Disco still sucks

I think feminists are cute
Impotence is natures way of saying no hard feelings
If
every person in the world would help just one other person, what a
beautiful world this would be..especially if that person they helped
was me!

The thing i like best about fantasy is that i can afford it
Matspur--the one wheel on a shopping cart that goes opposite the other 3
In Belgium there is a museum dedicated to just Strawberry's

Don't mess with the dead, boy do they have weird powers
"If i can't dance i don't want to be part of your revolution"--Emma Goldberg
Good Grief--An oxymoron

Man who run behind car get exhausted
Sharks cannot swim backwards, but goldfish can
"Love may be the answer but sex brings up some pretty good questions"--Woody Allen

And remember Don't hit your kids..no really they have guns now!!!

More Winter

2008-12-11T01:55:00.000-05:00

Outside of the Duke and Duchess, will it ever end?

Winter in hespeler

2008-12-08T09:34:00.001-05:00

That is me holding my Dad's hand. This picture is from 1960, it was taken at the old house on Cooper Street.

12 Songs of Christmas i don't want to hear!

2008-12-03T18:59:00.000-05:00

I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus

Frosty the hitman

I have an irregular heartbeat,pa rum papumm-pumm

It's beggining to look a lot like Prison

On the first day of Christmas...i maxed out my credit card

Silent fart

Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire

Santa Claus is scammin this town

Frosty my dopeman

I'll be homeless for Christmas

Rudolph hess the Red nosed Nazi

Walking around in womans underwear.

A lonely walk

2008-11-29T22:21:00.002-05:00

Looking down Cooper Street on a cold fall day. Hell Winter hasn't even begun yet and already it is too cold for me!

The Passing of time

2008-11-28T10:14:00.001-05:00

The Hespeler girls at little dam 1942.
Mary McLaughlin[Hillis],Betty Roscoe[Rabb],Betty Garside[Brueckner],Shirley Connor[Beatty],Irene Kendry[Constant]

Hespeler Girls at the old damn. Early 1940's
Hespeler Girls 60 odd years later.

A winters morning

2008-11-21T02:01:00.001-05:00

Looking Down Cooper Street towards Hammet, Yep, Winter's here.

Skidmarks

2008-11-16T13:43:00.001-05:00

Whatdoes a young man just about to turn 16 wait for the most? A hotgirlfriend? maybe, but in reality it is the DRIVER’S LICENSE. Theright of passage to manhood, the ultimate freedom sign. No longerhaving to beg for a ride somewhere, no longer having to hoof it fromHespeler to a party in Galt [remember folks in 1973 there was noCambridge transit] no more watching the cool guy’s driving upCooper Street with the latest Led Zeppelin 8-track blaring while i siton a 10 speed bike drinking my Fanta Cream Soda and day dreaming. Itwas August of 1973 and i had just successfully passed my drivers testand as i was driving home my dad explained to me how muchresponsibility i now held in my hands, don’t play the radio tooloud and remember watch everything around you. I dropped my Dad off atthe house and away i went to pick up the girlfriend and head to theA&W drive in for a burger and a root beer and to meet my friendswho were already there waiting for me. As i pulled in to the parkinglot everything was going good, no embarrassing problems with the StratoChief and then i got cocky. A quick acceleration into the parking slotand over went two garbage cans, and i received a standing ovation fromthe gathering of my friends. No wonder my Dad used to call me Skidmark,and it wasn’t because of my underwear!

Some more Cooper Street Relics

2008-11-14T00:48:00.002-05:00

Now these are real COOPER STREET RELICS. It is a picture taken in 1935 of my Maternal Uncles as well as my Grandfather and his brother. they all lived on cooper street in the same house that i would eventually reside in during the 1960's. While everyone in the picture is gone now i still remember them and take pride in being a Cooper Street Relic just like them!

What i learned from my Dad

2008-11-08T22:35:00.002-05:00

Our Mothers teach us things but we learn valuable life lessons from our Fathers. My dad was no exception, as i learned some things from him that my Mother could never have taught me.
Don't watch the Clock at work, the end of the day will come soon enough. I learned from him that fish can see you if you lean over the boat and that they can hear you if you talk too loud. I learned that which does not kill you will hurt you like the dickens. Oh yeah, i learned the word dickens from him as well. I learned that objects in the mirror are really closer than they appear and not to test the theory while he was in the car. Time travel was learned from him" If you don't smarten up i will knock you into next week". I learned to travel the back roads as often as possible and also where the good spots were to have a pee break. I also learned to question authority[unless it was him]. I learned that i wasn't born in a barn and that he had to walk 5 miles to school.uphill, both ways. I learned that "because i said so" makes sense to adults and that i would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. I learned that Tabasco sauce and Limburger cheese won't kill you. I learned that i am lucky to have Parents and an extended family that really care.
Oh and i also learned one important thing.....FLATULANCE, and how to use it.

Hespeler's last Police Chief

2008-11-08T03:48:00.001-05:00

Fred Stewart at his desk. He was the last Police Chief of Hespeler! He chased me a few times, and caught me once or twice!

The kid and me

2008-11-03T01:20:00.001-05:00

On Halloween one of my employees decided to dress up. But as what? Well, like me! Gotta give Hespeler kids credit, they think cool!

Winters Clouds

2008-10-29T20:13:00.002-04:00

The sky over Renwick Street tonight. Winter is coming, Don't say i didn't warn ya!

It's Coming

2008-10-28T22:51:00.001-04:00

Winter is coming people, is this what we can expect? We will know soon enough i feel.

Friday's Thoughts

2008-10-24T14:48:00.003-04:00

I know i am getting older, i can go months without sex but not 5 minutes without my glasses.

I chose the path less traveled, but only because i was lost.

If i can't be a good example than i will just have to be a terrible warning.

Thoughts for a Tuesday

2008-10-21T02:26:00.002-04:00

A true diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but not her age!

An eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind.

Before giving someone a piece of your mind make sure you have enough to spare.

When Hespeler had a Movie Theatre

2008-10-12T00:17:00.001-04:00

Way back when the town of Hespeler had a movie theatre downtown. It was right beside what was then the Queen's Hotel,now known as Ernie's. It was the place to be on a Saturday night.

Rumination for a Tuesday

2008-10-07T02:26:00.000-04:00

I love cooking with Wine
Sometimes i even put it in my food

Hespeler Rocks[Sort of}

2008-10-05T15:00:00.002-04:00

From 1946, the Hespeler Band. But for their time they rocked. My uncle Doug is in this picture.

2008-10-03T02:58:00.001-04:00

Cambridge Finds Its Voice - The Cambridge Voice

If i am Elected

2008-10-03T02:29:00.002-04:00

Is everyone sick of Political Promises. Well i am and so i have decided to run for prime minister with my new party the "Looking stupid party". Here is my platform.

I will repel the law of gravity, it's just holding us down.

I will reduce the speed of light, it's going way too fast and may hurt someone.

I will provide higher education, by building taller Schools.

English, French and illiterate will now be our 3 official languages, than anyone could grow up to be Prime Minister, oh wait, someone already did that.

All sidewalks will be made of rubber, reducing the number of drunks hurting themselves when they fall.

I will turn the parliament buildings into giant beer halls, probably a lot more work would get done.

Lastly i would abdicate, I wouldn't want to be leader of any country that would want me leading them.

Autumn in Hespeler

2008-09-29T01:20:00.001-04:00

I love this time of the year. The leaves changing and the birds getting ready to hide out. This ain't a Hitchcock movie is it?

The library[then and now]

2008-09-26T01:16:00.002-04:00

1960's and now.Which one do you like.

I love a parade

2008-09-25T12:26:00.001-04:00

Who doesn't love a parade. This is from when Hespeler had a Textile parade. I remember those well.

Falling Weather

2008-09-23T23:12:00.002-04:00

Just some fall thoughts to start things off

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger..than it hit me.
Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of Alcohol.
Those who live by the sword, get shot by those that don't.

I intend to live forever so far so good.
Welcome to hell..here is your accordion.
Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature.

I was hurt in a Chinese cooking accident..i may never Wok again.
Borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect it back.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman and neither one of them works.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
It is easy to blame others..which is the reason i do it.
I won't say that i hate you but my admiration for you is under control.

Winter is coming folks,enjoy the last of the good weather the snow will soon fly. And if i look confused it is because i am thinking.

More from the great outdoors

2008-09-23T01:57:00.001-04:00

Just another picture of the great outdoors that exist just outside the town of Hespeler

Outside the city

2008-09-17T00:46:00.001-04:00

I live in the city but just 5 minutes away is a wonderful area for walking,cycling and taking the dog for a walk. Just proves that you can find beauty everywhere, when you look for it. Another reason we need better environmental policy's in this country.

The coffee maker

2008-09-09T00:32:00.002-04:00

I love Coffee, if my doctor told me today that i had to give up either Coffee or Beer the choice would be simple..Bye Bye Booze. I have used the traditional Mr.Coffee style drip maker and have never enjoyed it, but a few years ago i cam across a coffee maker that makes the best coffee in the world. My parents has bought the Regal coffee maker in the year 1952 and it was just sitting in my mom's closet when i found it and decided to use it. It works perfect and still has all the original parts. Makes a fine damn cup of java and for a 56 year old machine it is perfect. Now when i hit 56 i hope i work just as well. Well the coffee is ready so off i go.

A Hespeler Rock band from the 70's

2008-09-04T01:18:00.002-04:00

Some local hespeler boys from the mid 70's. They are still around town today, but boy have they changed!

Late Summer Sunset

2008-09-03T02:23:00.000-04:00

Sunset over the steeple of St.Marys church on Cooper Street.